MISSILE SHIPMENTS ACTIVATE THE RUMOR MILL

Remember the movie "The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!" that hit the big screen back in 1966? There were reminders of this farce recently when camouflaged soldiers were seen in Cape Girardeau in the company of truckloads of what looked an awful lot like missiles.

When the movie came out, Americans were fully engaged in the Cold War. The Soviet Union was the bad guy. And the idea of a Russian sub running aground off the coast of Maine, while farfetched, had its plausible moments. Nowadays, Russia is struggling to survive. The bad guy -- depending on who is wearing the white hat -- is China or some despot in Yugoslavia.

So when National Guard vehicles and more than 500 troops started showing up in Cape Girardeau a couple of weeks ago, there were more than raised eyebrows. The rumor mill kicked into high gear.

Examples? Well, one version was that the Pentagon was stockpiling an enormous supply of missiles destined for use in Yugoslavia. Another story that made the rounds was that these were the missiles from Los Alamos that the Chinese spies were trying to get their hands on. Still another whopper was the one about the military using an old quarry at Neely's Landing on the Mississippi River to dump old missiles -- nuclear warheads and all.

At least one resident of the Neely's Landing area was more than a little upset with the Southeast Missourian's story Saturday explaining what was going on. According to this woman, the newspaper had not only aided and abetted the enemy by disclosing the location -- in the old quarry -- of all those missiles, but the newspaper also had turned Neely's Landing -- and her home -- into a highly visible bombing target for whichever of our enemies is planning an air raid.

Anyone who might have asked someone milling around the Holiday Inn dressed in camouflage -- and few bothered -- what was going on would have received a straightforward answer: Members of the Georgia National Guard were moving missiles from a closed military depot in Rock Island, Ill., to a base near Texarkana, Texas. Cape Girardeau was a convenient stopover for the two-day trip. The trucks with missiles were being parked in the old quarry overnight.

Even without the speculation and rumors, there was a dark overtone to the missile-moving operation. It was yet another indication of military cutbacks, downsizing and base closings that have been so common in recent years. Now that U.S. forces have been involved in the Yugoslav campaign for more than two months, it is becoming clearer and clearer how depleted our military ranks are. Shortages in both equipment and manpower are fairly obvious, with the Air Force halting most retirements from its ranks for the duration.

Maybe the sight of uniforms and missile-laden trucks served a purpose. Maybe it woke some of us up to the realities of today's military readiness.