LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: SHELF PAPER IS REALLY GOOD TEST OF TOGETHERNESS

To the editor:

Shelf paper. For some, that says it all. For those of you have never undertaken the arduous task of applying shelf paper, read on.

The art of applying shelf paper is like trying to pick a fly off flypaper and expecting to get all his feet intact. Shelf paper is one of the most sticky substances known to modern man, except when you want it to stick to the shelf, and it has been known to glue entire families together. If togetherness is what you're going for, I highly recommend you get everyone involved.

The first task is deciding on the amount of shelf paper you need. Figure one roll for every three shelves, then multiply by the amount of times you think it will take you to get the first layer down without getting another family member entangled in it. You are better off going to the store and buying all they have of one color. If you have any left that is not attached to your little sister or the cat when you are finished, you may return it.

Measuring is the second wonder of the job. No matter how many times you measure, there is no way you will ever get it right. I blame this on the designers of cabinets. Most shelves are in nice even rows. Then there are the shelves that only a contortionist could reach. This is where small adults or children come in handy.

Once you think you have a piece cut to the correct size, you will have to peel off the backing. This is where you may want to get everyone involved: the cat, the kids, Grandma. First, you need someone with fingernails to find that microscopic place where the paper and backing meet. You will also need as many family members as possible to keep the shelf paper from sticking to itself. Peal back slowly, making sure you know where everyone is, especially the cat.

Attach the paper to the clean wood surface in your cabinet. This is where you have the option to either paint or proceed at your own peril. If you have any brains left after smelling the glue, get out the paint brushes.

If you like the family thing, very carefully place the pre-measured corners of the shelf paper to the front of the shelf, and smooth it out toward the back of the shelf. If this worked without a hitch, you watch way too many of those how-to shows on the Discovery channel. If you find that the cat is wearing the shelf paper and isn't even in the same room, or you have just created a new mountain ridge on your shelf, you have just followed the correct instructions on "How to Apply Shelf Paper While Keeping the Family Together."

CAROL POOLE

Jackson, Mo.