LETTERS: TEVE MAKES HIS FEARLESS PREDICTION

To the editor:

Nostradamus was a guy who lived hundreds of years ago. He could predict the future. Many things happening now were foretold by him. When I tell people I am the Nostradamus of my day, their reaction is always the same. Hysterical laughter. When the prediction made in this letter comes true, my gift will gain the respect it deserves.

My prediction, dare I say prophecy, is that America stands poised to build an empire that will make the ancient Roman one seem the size of a silicon chip. It will be worldwide, even extending into outer space. Like the Roman Empire, the first 200 years or so will be characterized by peace and prosperity, a Pax Americana if you will.

President Clinton is a transitional figure. He is the Julius Caesar of his time. Like Caesar, he will be stabbed by members of the Senate. His final words will be, "Et tu, Barbara?" meaning, in English, "You too, Barbara?" indicating his surprise at being betrayed by one thought a friend and supporter, U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer.

After a period of internal turmoil, a single figure will emerge. Eventually, he will be crowned emperor. I have looked real hard into the future to try to discover his name, but I can't. All I know for sure is that he is currently a high-ranking corporate official with Little Caesar's Pizza. And so, when seen in public, people will say, "Hail Little Caesar!"The argument going on today between interventionists and isolationists is instructive. The interventionists will emerge triumphant and, with our new Star Wars missile defense system in place, we will embark on an imperialist crusade.

If you want to get on the right side of history, I urge you to express public support for the coming American Empire. In addition, I ask the Southeast Missourian to preserve this letter. Future historians will want it. Or, perhaps, the authorities. Or, conceivably, the men dressed in white who carry around those nets.

STEVE MOSLEY

Cape Girardeau