LETTERS: NO MORE SERVICE

To the editor:

Some thoughts while shaving. In the name of progress and modernity:

Can you remember back when gasoline service stations were anxious to sell you some gasoline? They even checked the oil and the air pressure in one's tires. At times the attendants even cleaned the windshield a little. One day last winter I wanted someone to help while I was trying to buy gasoline. I went into the office. The attendant at the station responded by saying: "Why, it is 40 degrees out there, too cold to put gas in your car." He would have sold me a cup of coffee and a sandwich, but all I wanted was some gasoline.

It seems to me that in the name of progress we have changed what used to be called service stations into sandwich stops. The other night in a dream I drove up to a station to buy gas. It said self-service only, so I went up to the pump to get some gas. One side of the pump said "regular unleaded," but on the other side it said "decaffeinated." I would up with a start thinking that what I really wanted was a cup of "Java Expresso."

I am so old-fashioned that I prefer to eat at home or at a restaurant, but what can or should I do about getting some fuel for my car? The prices haven't gone down, but the service usually has. Possibly there is a shortage of gasoline on the world market. I might try to buy my gasoline pump and station, but I would probably go broke like the oil companies.

Soon I may be buying gas with pickle, relish and mustard additives. I don't even like the smell of gasoline on my hands while I try to eat my sandwich. However, like the oil companies, I am still not ready to go electric, since I don't want to have to recharge my batteries that often. However, perhaps what I need is to get my batteries recharged to keep up with today's progress.

P.S. I do us an electric razor to save face.

IVAN NOTHDURFT

Cape Girardeau