LETTERS: BILLBOARDS FULL OF STRANGE VIEWS ALONG INTERESTATE

To the editor:

Recently, my wife and I were traveling on Interstate 55. When you have done this hundreds of times, you probably don't pay much attention to the large billboards lining the route.

It occurred to us to wonder what a stranger might think of our signs. We picked, for example, a German businessman on his first trip to the United States. Billboards are pretty much banned on highways in Germany and Austria.

This person would fly into Lambert Airport, rent a car and head toward the Bootheel. Just south of St. Louis he would encounter "1-800 Who's My Daddy?" This sign features a confused toddler wanting some DNA justice. A little farther on would be a billboard for a restaurant 100 miles away that sells some kind of thrown bread. The sign is inexplicably turned upside down. Still farther south on I-55 would be an advertisement for people who are overweight by 100 pounds. It displays a sad-looking, obese woman needing help. The German businessman then would drive past a vast graveyard of white crosses. Across the median he would see signs quizzing him on who owns the hotel he's staying in and a flashy "Hot 5-Cent Slots" casino sign.

If we could ask the German how his trip is going so far, he would probably say politely, "Very interesting."

PHIL PATTERSON

Scott City, Mo.