I'm no Martha Stewart. I just want to leave my vanity in the past

Martha Stewart is on the cover of Sports Illustrated at 81 years old, and whether you love it or hate it, everyone is talking about it. Bathing suit shopping is easily one of the top-10 activities women loathe. In a bathing suit, there's nowhere to hide. We must confront every physical insecurity and walk into a dressing room holding a lifetime of expectations that society has placed on us.

More power to Martha Stewart, but I'd like to think that my most vain days are in the past. Releasing my vanity is the gift that aging brings. It helps that I'm happily married. I know who I'm sleeping next to for the next 40 years (barring an unforeseen tragedy). And if tragedy does ever strike, I've already told my kids that I will be the old lady with too many pets. Until then, I'm confident that my husband loves post-children size 14 me just as much as he loved broke, hungry and single size 7 me all those years ago.

With vanity taking a back seat, I've freed up a whole lot of brain space. I no longer think about who's datable, who's "worthy" or who has husband potential. Nor do I worry about other people finding me attractive when I wear a certain bathing suit or dress. My biggest clothing concern is comfort and whether it can handle my bustline. My mind is otherwise free to mull over creative and ambitious pursuits like how many hostas will fit on our back hill under the catalpa tree.

Sure, I like a cute dress and yes, I'll wear makeup for special occasions, but as Erin McKean said, "Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked 'female.'" I want to exist in the space where my mind contributes to conversation. My kindness and compassion matter most, and I feel like in many ways it is age that has allowed me that focus.

Youth is idolized in our society and beauty is admired. That's OK and it is also OK to feel pretty, but in middle age my bigger objective is figuring out what I contribute to my community and to the industry in which I work. The best bathing suit for me is one that fits and is comfortable enough for me to splash in the pool with my son. I love seeing the swim shirts and shorts styles popping up and I hope that trend continues. I'm all in for comfort.

While the world oohs and ahhs over an 81-year-old woman adorning the Sports Illustrated cover while giving compliments that she's "held up" so well, I plan to live out the next portion of my life more like Erma Bombeck, who said, "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"

I plan to use every resource within me to contribute to this world as much as I can for as long as I can. And I don't expect that to look pretty.