His & Hers: Shopping for approval in the grocery store

Husband-and-wife journalists Bob Miller and Callie Clark Miller use this space to offer their views on everyday issues.

SHE SAID

Bob and I both hate grocery shopping. We've shared the long list of reasons why in previous columns. But we like to eat, so when the kitchen cabinets hold only the bottle of vanilla extract and stale taco shells, one of us is usually forced to the store.

When Bob goes, I tend to the make very long, very specific lists. I try to put items in the order he'll fine them from aisle to aisle. I list brand names. I describe the correct quantity to purchase, the color of the package.

And yet I can bank on finding at least one surprise in the shopping bags when he comes home. Sometimes the surprises are accidents, like picking up spicy garlic stewed tomatoes instead of regular. "Why do they have to make it so complicated," he'll rant, shifting the blame to the manufacturers as quickly as possible.

The worst purchases typically occur when he decides to deviate completely from the shopping list due to a burst of food-induced enthusiasm.

I'll give him this: He's usually thinking of others when this happens. Unfortunately, he also usually buys whatever it is in bulk for some reason. Like the time he bought a case of string cheese that he assured me Drew would love. It sat in our refrigerator for over a year, untouched.

Then there was the box of 24 sausage biscuits that took up half our freezer for months. Sometimes, when he makes a mistake like buying organic ketchup, he covers it up by claiming it's so much better than what he was supposed to have purchased. Same thing he says when he brings home sugar-free products or the light sour cream instead of the regular. (Are you trying to tell me something, hon?)

HE SAID

Callie may say what she wants about buying things in bulk, but it was she, not me, who insisted on buying a membership to Sam's Club. For those who are not familiar with the store, it's the place where you pay a membership fee for the privilege of buying things in huge quantities, such as five-gallon tubs of mayonnaise.

After she and her brother came home from a recent trip, she bought many sensible items, like baby supplies, but also crowded our refrigerator with a gallon container of spaghetti sauce (previously, we had spaghetti maybe three times a year), three huge boxes of rotini noodles and approximately a half-ton of American cheese slices.

As for me, I'll concede my shopping skills are lacking as I only tend to read the big words on the package. The editor in me knows better. The man in me wants to get in, get out and go home.

Despite my flaws (including in attempts to buy unmentionables as described in a recent column), I would still rather shop alone at the grocery store than as a couple. It only makes sense that only one of us should endure the punishment of the crowds and the lines. It only makes sense that while one of us is doing the shopping, then the other can be doing other work at home.

But as much as I dislike grocery shopping, it really is better that I go. I spend much less money than Callie. Even if I do get the fat-free sour cream by mistake.

Callie Clark Miller is the special publications managing editor for the Southeast Missourian and is clipping coupons to prove she can spend less money than Bob Miller, the Southeast Missourian managing editor located on aisle 5 grabbing the low sodium organic ketchup by mistake. Reach them at cmiller@semissourian.com and bmiller@semissourian.com.