GUEST COLUMN: I know how George Floyd's family feels

There is an awakening in cities across the United States, which has prompted peaceful marches and protests. Unfortunately, some people, with no interest in justice, used those demonstrations as an opportunity to destroy property and loot stores.

The peaceful protesters were seeking justice for the wrongful death of George Floyd, a black man in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The individuals arrested for his murder were identified as four white police officers. This scenario of mostly white police officers killing black males is not new. As in decades of these cases, Mr. Floyd was unarmed, not resisting arrest, and causing no threat to the officers.

The world viewed a cellphone video of Mr. Floyd dying and heard him begging for his life, stating, "I can't breathe." One officer had his knee on the neck of Mr. Floyd for 8 minutes and 46 seconds, while the other officers provided no assistance to Mr. Floyd.

Marchers represented the most diverse group I have ever seen to protest the police killing of a black man. The words "I can't breathe" have become the rallying cry for change. After decades of accusations of police brutality were ignored, the masses had to see it to believe it.

Police brutality is the unnecessary use of excessive force, resulting in death or injuries to citizens. It is compounded when coupled with racism. Recently, there seems to be an awakening that racism is alive and well. As with any social ill, one cannot address a problem until you admit that one exists. All citizens do not enjoy equal protection under the law. The Constitutional right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness applies to some and is denied to others. Now, there finally seems to be a movement of awakening. Eyes are being opened to see that all are not free and some are not brave. Systemic racism is evidenced in many ways, including disparities in health, housing, education, employment opportunities and policing.

We have honorable persons who have chosen careers as police officers. They are good people who pledge to help and protect everyone, while upholding their oath of office. Unfortunately, research has reported an estimated 5 to 15% of officers identified as "bad" cops.

When citizens are approached by police officers, how do you know in which category they fall? The position of Black Lives Matter is that black lives matter, too. When these issues are raised, many ask, "What about black on black murders?" Yes, that is a problem, but how is that different from white on white murders, which actually exceeds the number for blacks? All homicides are problems, but that is different from people killing you, when they are employed to serve and protect you, and you are unarmed and posing no threat.

All groups of people have been impacted by police brutality.

A white female friend is grieving the killing of her unarmed son by a white police officer. One might ask, "Why is there so much attention to black men killed by white officers?"

Black men are approximately 6% of the population in America, but disproportionally more likely to be killed by police than other groups.

It doesn't even matter if the police officers are black. Unfairly, there is an ingrained culture to fear black men as threats. Racial profiling and unjust mass incarceration are some of the results dictated by that culture.

Black men appear to be targets for violence. This can occur while driving while black, jogging while black, sitting in Starbucks while black, or just existing in black skin. Bird watching while black is one of the latest situations in which the use of white privilege could have ended a black man's life. Definitely, we need more awakenings.

Because of my years of positive interactions with police officers, especially in my professional career of administrative oversight of a department of criminal justice and a regional police academy, I once believed that there were just a few bad apples, independent of the good officers. At one time, I wasn't awakened to a deviate subculture of policing. I believe that this subculture is partly responsible for so many unfortunate suicides of police officers. The good officers fear the bad ones, as much as others do. Some former police officers have told me why they could no longer serve as police officers. They could not stomach some of the maltreatment they witnessed and felt powerless to correct. The tragedy is that the "bad" ones are left in place, some promoted and celebrated at retirement. The Blue Wall protects them.

My awakening came in 2004. I received a telephone call that no parent wants to receive. I was told that our son Leslie was dead. He was not ill and I had talked to him within 24 hours. Leslie, unarmed and posing no threat and not resisting anyone, was the victim of police brutality. He was killed in an amazingly similar manner as George Floyd. Two autopsy reports concluded that the cause of death was homicide by positional asphyxia.

Four police officers would not allow Leslie to breathe. They placed and held him in the unlawful hogtie position for approximately 10 minutes. His death in Chattanooga, Tennessee was met mostly with silence. Like most families, we received no justice. The officers were given a week off with pay and sent back to work. The department's internal investigation determined that Leslie's death was an accident. The police chief stated, "It was an accident because the officers did not mean for him to die." There was no awakening of public officials.

Since Leslie's death, I have realized that silence is the enemy. Frederick Douglass stated, "The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppose." I am a peaceful person, but one with abilities that I use to address social justice issues. I believe in Bulwer-Lytton's statement. "The pen is mightier than the sword."

We had no video, but I speak and write about these matters, including the publication of a book, "Excessive Use of Force." Everyone may not march, but everyone can do something to facilitate change. Change must come and can come soon in communities locally. Change can begin with the recruitment, background checks, and employment of the "right" people. Another crucial step is to provide appropriate training, including sensitivity training, which doesn't have to be facilitated by current or former police officers. In fact, I have conducted some of these sessions at police academies. Even before George Floyd, I told Police Chief Wes Blair how much I appreciated his leadership in Cape Girardeau. He arrived here already awakened.

Change is never easy, but the time is now. I am reminded of warnings in the book, "Who Moved My Cheese." The death of George Floyd, aided by technology, has moved the cheese. America must respond. People have marched, and continue to do so, but now we must change policy. Unfortunately, we may never see the mutual love and affection in the hearts of people, but we can begin by not killing each other.

The families of police officers want their loved ones to return home, and we want our loved ones to return home, too.

Many people have expressed shock and stated they can only imagine how the Floyd family feels. These unlawful deaths have claimed many lives over many decades. My heart breaks for the Floyd family. His life will serve as a change agent to potentially receive justice for so many other voices that were not heard.

I was not shocked by George's murder. Leslie's dad, Dwight, and his brother, Stefan, join me in extending our empathy to all families dealing with the stolen lives of their loved ones. We don't have to imagine how George's family feels. We know how they feel.

Dr. Loretta P. Prater, retired dean of the College of Health and Human Services at Southeast Missouri State University, is author of the 2018 book, "Excessive Use of Force," in which she details the circumstances of the death of her 37-year old son, Leslie Prater, at the hands of Chattanooga (Tenn.) police on January 2, 2004.