Gold stars buy nothing: why we should be more ambitious about community care

I set out chamomile seedlings on the table in my yard so neighbors could grab them. The Buy Nothing group I belong to is a form of community care, but I would have never called it that prior to reading Rainesford Stauffer's new book, "All the Gold Stars: Reimagining Ambition and the Ways we Strive." Buy Nothing groups are online communities where members can ask for what they need and share items they no longer need. All free, hence the name.

Reading "All the Gold Stars" was an intervention of sorts for me. It helped me rightfully confront the fact that many of my insecurities present themselves in my daily ambitions. The book also recognizes the privilege that exists in having ambition along with the exploitation that relies on it.

Simon Sinek's work primed me a bit for reading Stauffer. Sinek frequently talks about America's obsession with rugged individualism. Stauffer writes in her new book that "individualism is the horse that ambition rides in on."

Sinek writes and talks about service, why it's important and how we need one another. He often remarks that there's a whole section of the bookstore called "self-help," but there's not a section called "help others."

Stauffer writes about America's obsession with meritocracy and about the ambition in community care and mutual aid -- what it looks like and why it's important. "Because the West's imperialism, colonialism, and capitalism continue to harm communities, community care and reciprocal needs persist," she writes.

This brings me back to my chamomile sprouts. I had accidentally poured the whole seed packet into the pot not realizing how fine the seeds were. When they sprouted into a tangled mess, I couldn't bear to just compost what I thinned, so I carefully divided and potted the extra little sprouts in red Solo cups. I posted a notice in our community's Buy Nothing group so other gardeners in my neighborhood could grab one.

I love the generosity that comes with being a part of this group. We share everything from extra food to furniture, clothes and power cords. Before anything goes to Goodwill or Salvation Army, it is offered up in the Buy Nothing group. It's one more way that I feel connected and cared for in my community.

Humans need one another whether we want to or not. It's not an easy lesson for this Gen Xer who is a pro in the self-reliance department. I'm a former latchkey kid. I got this. But maybe instead of constantly reaching for our bootstraps, we should remember to reach for one another.

"All the Gold Stars" challenges each reader to reframe ambition in terms that better serve our collective lives, not capitalism or our employers. We can strive to be wholehearted humans whose ambitions reach far beyond our resumes, embrace joy and help our communities thrive.