Family matters

Several years ago, when most of my aunts and uncles on my mother's side of the family had died or had become incapacitated, one of my cousins assumed the responsibility of keeping everyone informed by e-mail.

Cousin John's original task was to remind all the cousins -- 15 survive -- and their extended families about the annual family reunion. I have questioned my family's sanity at times, especially when it comes to holding an outdoor reunion in Southeast Missouri in August.

To his credit, Cousin John has done a first-rate job of keeping up with changes in e-mail addresses and giving everyone ample warning about the reunion, on the second Saturday in August. Along the way, his e-mail system has been pressed into service to let family members know about other important news. There have been more get-togethers than the annual reunion. There have been births, too.

And there have been deaths.

When I see Cousin John's name on an incoming e-mail, I have a moment of anxiety. I ask myself, "Who now?"

Several years ago, a daughter of one of my cousins was diagnosed with lung cancer. After surgery she fought the disease, married and had two adorable children. But the cancer eventually took its final toll.

My younger brother also was diagnosed with lung cancer and died two years later.

This week, there was another e-mail from Cousin John. Subject: Jerry.

Jerry is married to Cousin Pat. Jerry and Pat are the parents of the daughter who died of cancer. The e-mail's news was not good. Jerry has been diagnosed with lung cancer.

Let me say here that my mother, her sisters and her brother were raised by a mother during the Great Depression when pride and dignity and honor and faith were the family's most valuable possessions. A core belief in God's grace has seen their descendants through many a crisis. This was evident in Cousin Pat's e-mail message. Quoting a "beloved" pastor: "When I die, don't grieve for me. I'll be more alive than I have ever been."

Jerry has decided to forgo chemo. He intends to make the most of what life he has left. He looks forward to being "more alive than I have ever been." He and Cousin Pat are sharing their vision for eternity with everyone they meet.

"We love each and every one of you and know you will be somewhat grieved at this news," Cousin Pat wrote, "but understand and be comforted that we both have perfect peace because of our faith in Jesus Christ, and, being in him, we have absolute certainty, by God's precious promise, of going to Heaven, because of him (not because we are good)."

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope -- the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. -- Titus 2:11-14

I thought you might appreciate, as I did, Cousin Pat's timely -- and, in its own way, joyful -- reminder.

jsullivan@semissourian.com<I>