Duct tape can't cure every woe

During a tour this week of the new Central High School building, I was pleased to see workers, who are hurrying to finish the $20 million project, using plenty of duct tape.

Don't worry. The building isn't being held together with duct tape. But several finishing processes are getting help from duct tape. After all, there are only so many hands available to hold things in place.

I can report that the new high school is a gem. The students, faculty and administrators who will use the new building will be more than impressed. They'll be wowed.

I'm hoping I get invited to lunch often at the new CHS. And I hope to find excuses to show up in the library. Both are showplaces for their respective functions.

The band room and choir room are wonderful. And wait till you see the seating in the main gym.

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Unfortunately, duct tape couldn't help me a couple of times this week.

As my wife can attest, I get grumpy when I'm frustrated by things that should work -- but don't.

The first victim was my battery-powered weed trimmer. I bought this trimmer three or four years ago. It has performed flawlessly. After each use, I faithfully connect the trimmer to its battery charger.

I last used the trimmer about two weeks ago. It was fine. Over the weekend, I took the trimmer to the area of the yard that needed trimming, pulled the trigger and ... nothing.

Believe it or not, I have kept the owner's manual for every device and machine I've ever bought, even though many of these mowers and power tools no longer exist. So I quickly found the troubleshooting section of the operator's manual for the trimmer.

As it turns out, there is a reset button on this particular trimmer. The manual said to push it. I did.

Nothing.

I gleaned from the manual that the trimmer's battery might someday need to be replaced. The manual repeatedly cautioned me not to do this myself. As a matter of fact, I attempted to open the housing for the battery and discovered I don't own a T20 tool that will reach some of the screws that have to be undone.

To be honest, I didn't even know I had any T-numbered tools until I looked in the set that came with my cordless drill. Sure enough, I do. But not long enough.

After a telephone consultation with the store where I purchased the trimmer, I realized that replacing the battery would -- after paying for the new battery, paying for disposing the old battery and paying for the store to replace the battery -- cost more than a new trimmer.

So I have a new trimmer.

Then I noticed that the propane tank for our outdoor gas grill was nearly empty. We get the tank filled three or four times a year.

When I took the tank to the usual place to get it filled, I was informed that the government, in its wisdom, has decided my old tank could kill me. So I had to have a new tank.

That wouldn't be so difficult, except one of the features of the classy grill I have is a quick-connect device for propane tanks. The new tanks don't come with that feature.

I spent two hours in the rain late Monday afternoon going from place to place in search of a solution that did not require purchasing a new grill -- although that was suggested more than once.

One dealer informed me that the grill manufacturer stopped making the quick-connect devices right after we purchased our grill. Thanks a lot.

Eventually, I found a store with a converter kit that would let the new tanks connect to my now obsolete grill. And then I needed a new tank. Cost? About a tenth of the price of a new grill.

When order was finally restored, I gave the huge roll of duct tape on the garage shelf a look that clearly said: "Don't ever let me down like this again."

R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.