DR. JAMES A. KINDER: A KIND MAN REMEMBERED AS SERVANT'S SERVANT

My first reaction was complete shock when I played back the messages on my answering machine several days ago. My lifelong friend, Peter Kinder, had left a sobering message. His father, Dr. James Kinder, had been killed in an auto accident that morning.

Shortly after I heard, I e-mailed my brother, Rush, with the tragic news. His four-word response captured my sentiments as well: "I can't believe it." Neither of us could believe that our pediatrician, our dad's best friend, the husband of our mother's best friend, had died.

We couldn't believe it because Dr. Kinder and his family have always been a part of our lives. He had not only been our doctor, he was my children's doctor too, still making occasional house calls at the age of 82. When you lose your parents, you experience a keen sense of your own mortality. Among the things anchoring you in your grieving stage is the continued presence of some of their peers. The Kinders are an integral part of my connection to the past.

Dr. Kinder was a quintessential member of the "Greatest Generation." He lived through the Depression, served his country in World War II and dedicated his life to serving others, especially children.

All four of Dr. Kinder's sons participated in the funeral, three of them with eulogies and one in song. Son Mark said that when he was in town visiting his parents not long ago, a young doctor new to the community, upon learning that Mark was Dr. Kinder's son remarked, "Your dad is an example to all of us." The words are increasingly meaningful to Mark as he re-flects on his loss.

Son Frank described his father as a true gentleman who always put his commitment to the children he cared for at the forefront of his life. Among the reasons he chose pediatrics was his love for children.

When making the rounds with him one time at the hospital, Frank noticed a forlorn expression on his dad's face as he emerged from a patient's room. "What's wrong, Dad?" Frank asked. "The little boy has leukemia and won't make it much longer," said Dr. Kinder. He always empathized with his patients and suffered when they suffered.

Frank related how his dad would always assure him and other patients before giving them a shot that "this will hurt me more than it will hurt you." Frank described how it didn't take him too long to figure out that that didn't make any sense. It wasn't until later in life that Frank grasped the fullness and sincerity of his dad's remark.

Son Peter focused on his dad's military and community service, including his lifetime of active participation with the Boy Scouts of America. Poignantly, he invoked the Scout Oath and the Scout Law to summarize his dad's life and his character. Not a syllable of political correctness appears in either.

"On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout law; To help other people at all times; To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight." "A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent." Indeed, these attributes defined Dr. Jim. He was devoted to God, overflowing with kindness, mentally acute and robust with integrity. Frank could not recall a single family Christmas that wasn't interrupted by a telephone call from a worried parent of an ailing patient.

Recently, numerous politicians have exploited the phrase "for the children." The full measure of their cynical, self-congratulation is brought into clear focus when set against the humble, unpretentious life of service exhibited by Dr. Jim.

He was a father's father, a doctor's doctor, a patriot's patriot and a servant's servant. Dr. Kind-er playfully re-ferred to his patients as "scalawags." Those of us "scalawags" whose lives he touched can take some solace in our conviction that he is now in a better place -- that holy place alluded to by son James in song -- getting a brief respite before embarking upon his next career of devotion and service.

~David Limbaugh of Cape Girardeau is a columnist for Creators Syndicate.