Common Sense - Timely eulogy marks his death

To the editor:

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, Common Sense, who lived a long life but died recently in the United States.

Common Sense selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes and factories by getting jobs done without fanfare or foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He cultivated such valued lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.

In recent decades, Common Sense's waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well-intentioned but overbearing regulations. He lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims and federal judges stuck their noses into everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.

Finally, when people too stupid to realize a steaming cup of coffee is hot were awarded huge settlements, Common Sense threw in the towel. As the end neared, he drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations for low-flow toilets, rocking chairs and stepladders.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral, because so few realized he was gone.

WILBERT V. TIEDT

Jackson