CHURCHES TRYING TO MAKE STRONG MARRIAGES

Little wonder that the Cape Girardeau Ministerial Alliance is concerned about the divorce rate in a city that prides itself on church attendance and a strong religious outreach.

The alliance's members are charged with overseeing the spiritual health of their flocks, and they know strong marriages build strong families and strong congregations. There are also religious admonitions against divorce except in special circumstances.

That's why more than 30 churches joined the Marriage Savers program and launched it on Valentine's Day 1996. Cape Girardeau was the first community in the state to adopt a marriage policy requiring couples to have four months of Bible-based and practical marriage counseling before they are allowed to be married in a participating church.

And with half of all marriages ending in divorce, such a program makes good sense.

Why not take any measure possible to avoid the spiritual, emotional and financial toll of a divorce?

Now 40 of the city's churches -- the vast majority -- are members of Marriage Savers.

The ministerial alliance met last week, the day before Valentine's Day, to determine why the program doesn't seem to be having its intended effect.

They pointed to a rising number of divorces in Cape Girardeau County. There were only 383 divorces in 1998 but 520 last year.

The ministers are disappointed. They say they should pool their resources and communicate marriage-saving tips to each other. They want to begin a communitywide marriage program to reach those outside the church.

Excellent ideas, to be sure.

However, before they become too discouraged, they should realize numbers don't tell the whole story.

Instead of examining the county's divorce rate, they should track down couples who went through the marriage-counseling program. No doubt many of them can be found in the churches where they were married, worshiping together and perhaps raising children with an appreciation of religion.

Many of the couples getting divorced now were married before Marriage Savers was implemented. And some were married in civil ceremonies without the benefit of premarital counseling.

Only after considering these factors can the area's ministers determine whether Marriage Savers works. One thing is certain: It's better to try to build a solid marriage foundation than to not try at all.