Being there, or here

While visiting younger son a few weeks ago in Ireland, we were mesmerized by our traveling companion, a Navman GPS navigation system younger son installed in his new car. (Dear readers: This is no way a product endorsement. There are lots of great navigation systems.)

Because the digital voice was a woman's, we promptly named her Miss Navman. My wife called her Miss Bossy, because Miss Navman does not like it when you don't follow directions. "Perform a U-turn as soon as possible," she said more times than we wanted to hear.

I decided I wanted one of these gizmos. Goodness knows I need help, particularly in big cities and almost anywhere in Southern Illinois.

I purchased the Navman in Ireland, but it wasn't shipped to my son until the day we left, so he mailed it to us. It came this week. My wife braced for the to-be-expected battle of Joe versus the new toy that requires slightly higher than average intelligence. It is not always fun to watch. Here is the e-mail I sent to younger son later in the day:

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OK. I am now a card-carrying GPS-equipped world (at least North America and Europe -- and who knew Andorra was in Europe?) traveler.

It took about two hours.

The Europe maps are preloaded in the Navman. So I go to the Navman Web site to download the North America maps. But, I'm informed, I need a registration key to access the maps. No can find. Anywhere.

I make my first call to 1-866-9NAVMAN. Very helpful person quickly answers. She says since I purchased the Navman in Ireland, I am only entitled to Europe maps, but I can pay for the registration key that will unlock the North America maps. Yes, I say. I'll pay. Whatever. She directs me to Navmanstores.com, where I select "United States" only to be told that I will be redirected to the UK store. OK. Whatever.

"Whatever" turns out to be exactly 68 British pounds sterling. The customer service person politely suggests I call back if I need further assistance. I hang up. Reluctantly.

Almost instantly I receive an e-mail from Navman with my registration key. I enter the code when prompted by Navdesk (previously installed) on my computer. I am told to pick where I want the maps stored. The only option is the Navman internal memory, which will not activate.

Another call to customer service. This customer-service rep informs me that because my Navman already has Europe maps loaded, I will need an external memory card to store the North America maps.

Quick as a wink I run downstairs to the drawer of previously used cell phones. I hate looking in the drawer, because it looks like a digital cemetery. But, back to the task at hand. I grab the 2-gigabyte memory card I purchased on the Oregon Coast the year I found out my cell phone du jour would not only take photos, but video as well. And, doggone it, I wanted some video.

So I push the memory card into my Navman, video and all. Sure enough, I now can download the North America maps. This takes 15 minutes. I watch as each state and Canadian province loads: Alberta, British Columbia ... right through Wyoming. Boy, we have a lot of states.

Back to my car, where I place the Navman on the windshield mount and plug the adapter into the onboard power accessory. We used to call it a cigarette lighter.

Up comes a map of my neighborhood and an icon showing me parked in the driveway. Spooky. I decide to test the Navman by putting the Southeast Missourian as my destination. Since I live on a circle, I have two choices for getting to the nearest main street. I, of course, go the usual, but wrong, way.

"Peform a U-turn as soon as possible," says the familiar Miss Navman voice. Ah, some things never change.

R. Joe Sullivan is the editorial-page editor of the Southeast Missourian.