Be brave and dream big this year

Cleaning out a storage bin I found one of my journals from high school. The entry on Sunday, Nov. 3, 1991, grabbed my attention. It was about big dreams I had for myself. I wrote, “How do I know I have what it takes? … the talent … the potential … the drive?” I have so many things I want to tell 16-year-old me. Mainly, that she had all of those attributes and more to do whatever she put her mind to. Everyone else in the world will tell you no. Don’t do it for them by letting fear stop you. Your job is to decide who you want to be and what you want that to contribute to this world. Then, go for it with everything in you. I somehow thought that because I wasn’t a good student that I wasn’t cut out for high achievements. But the world is far bigger than any high school experience. No one cares now that I failed algebra in high school. No one. A lot of my childhood was submerged in the arts, and I’m incredibly grateful. I took music and dance lessons. I performed in plays and commercials, and I journaled constantly. My stepmom fostered my love of the arts while other adults in my life questioned its long-term purpose, stressing that I also had to have some other plan to back it up with. What was my realistic view of a career? They’d ask. What could all of these hobbies possibly add up to in “the real world?” I didn’t have a backup plan, and I didn’t want one either. The world needed thriving arts programs in every community. I wanted to make music and I wanted to write. Originally, I saw my future with a career in music, playing percussion in an orchestra pit somewhere. Writing was cathartic and I thought I might publish a book someday, but I didn’t envision it as my profession. Life showed me other plans. A career in symphonic music took professional training, which took money that I didn’t have. Writing simply took the desire to read, learn and practice. It took the willingness to reach out and find those editors who would give me a chance. It took humility to find mentors and learn from my mistakes. But most of all it started with being brave enough to dream. Writing is my profession now. Music took a back seat as my hobby and sometimes a side gig. I don’t have any hit songs or huge performances, and I am not disappointed. I’m still very much living a life that began with a dream: aspirations of a young girl that started long before anything resembled grown-up reality. So, what are your dreams for the new year? Write them down. Be brave. Write them without judgment or fear of sounding foolish. Dream big with your whole heart. I’m still dreaming and making plans and I have no intention of stopping any time soon.

Bonnie Jean Feldkamp