All good things must have a beginning ... sometime

If you expect great things for 2014, I'm with you.

Great things have happened in the past: indoor plumbing, remote controls, the Internet, iPads. And great things are out there waiting to happen.

I know what's on my list of expectations, but how about yours? If you made New Year's resolutions for 2014, do they include expecting something great to happen in the next 12 months?

Here are a few of things I would like to see in 2014. This is not my complete list. It's just a sampling. But you'll get the idea. And maybe you will want to add a few ideas of your own.

No. 1: I think 2014 is the year to put an end to changing clocks every few months.

I don't care whether we have daylight-saving time year around or God's time for the rest of eternity. Just pick one. And don't mess with it. Ever.

Apparently, it took an act of Congress to get us in this timekeeping mess. So I suppose it will take some action on the part of our elected representatives and senators to put it right.

I don't know about you, but it seems to me the whole issue of what time it is at any point in the year would be a good place to demonstrate all political factions can agree on something. What possible political ideology could affect what time it is in Gordonville?

No. 2: Could 2014 possibly be the year when makers of knit shirts finally figure out what to do about excessive shrinking?

OK. I'll admit this isn't a big concern to many of you. But if you're tall -- or "big boned," as some say -- like me, this is a big whoop.

Regular knit shirts -- and I wear a lot of them -- don't stay tucked in because the tails are too short. That's why God created tall sizes. Sure enough, shirts that come in tall sizes are longer than regular shirts, but only while they stay in the store. As soon as you put them through the laundry at home, the shirts scrunch into regular length.

Some of you might suggest we follow the shirt's care instructions. Let me first respond by saying we weren't born yesterday. We know a thing or two about washer settings and the difference between hot and cold water. Besides, when was the last time you tried to read one of those tiny care-instruction labels? Any optometrist worth his salt would tell you that you have to have way better than 20/20 vision to read those things.

Like so many manufactured products today, shirts that shrink are no accident. If you make a shirt that stays long enough to be properly tucked in, the purchaser of said shirt will remain completely satisfied for a long, long time. This means it will be a long, long time before another shirt is purchased.

If, on the other hand, you make a shirt that shrinks the first time it's washed, there is an increased likelihood another shirt will be purchased to take its place. This, of course, depends on remembering to wear the shirt BEFORE washing out all those chemicals that go into modern clothing.

No. 3: Let's hope 2014 is the year the government cracks down on patently false claims touted on the packages of certain products.

I'm not talking rocket science here. I'm talking about those packages that plainly state in easily readable type that they are "easy open" containers.

Ha!

And ha! ha!

Honest to goodness, should it be that hard to eat a bowl of cereal? Or take an aspirin?

No, it shouldn't.

Pharmacies now offer optional bottle caps for prescriptions that are easy to open. Here's a thought: Why not put those caps on all prescription bottles -- unless you request one of the nearly impossible-to-open caps to protect your children or anyone else who might be tempted to take your pills. Wouldn't that be a whole lot simpler? And more cost effective?

There.

That's enough to get you started on your own list, which will, no doubt, include such issues as the need to reduce four-lane streets to two lanes because pretty is always more important that function.

Or how about expecting that 2014 will be the year when voters take charge instead of letting politicians make outrageous claims that we all know are ... outrageous?

Just a thought. Please add your own.

Happy New Year.

Joe Sullivan is the retired editor of the Southeast Missourian.