A man of patience

Patience is the reward of those who last long enough. As someone who has lived by newspaper deadlines for more than 40 years, I have never tolerated tardiness or detours well. Nor I have I been comfortable with the schedule-clogging pace of others. Now that I am comfortably advanced in birthdays, I am beginning to understand that my hurry-up life hasn't always been worth the frustration that comes from being a slave to punctuality. I am no further advanced in my life span than I would have been if I had maintained a slower pace without worrying so much about the little deadlines I set for myself. Now I understand the journey counts more than the destination. Getting there is what we live for. Arriving means the trip is over. So I am newly converted to patience. I still like to keep to a schedule, and I don't want the speed of my activities to in any way impede anyone else's routine. At the same time, I want those who make schedules, especially when it comes to appointments, to be as faithful to them as possible. In that regard I have learned that if I am inconvenienced by the willy-nilly timetables of others, it's up to me to take care of the problem, not them. So if I make a doctor's appointment and the doctor is not punctual, I find another doctor. I know this isn't as simple as it sounds, and many times I forgo medical care longer than I should until I find a doctor who values the schedules of his or her patients. I figure eliminating the stress of botched appointments by expensive professionals is better for my health than fussing and fuming. In my experience, there are more professionals who want to stick to decent schedules than there are those who book as many appointments as possible and don't care if a patient waits for hours. I have been able to find a doctor, dentist, optometrist, barber, financial adviser, insurance agent, mechanic, travel agent, dry cleaner, pizzeria, sandwich shop, coffee shop, numerous restaurants and trainer who believe the cost of what they provide is measured in time as much as dollars. All of this makes my days more pleasant. But, as a patient man, I am better able to deal with the unexpected disruptions in my routine. If the doctor's office calls to reschedule a longstanding appointment, I am gratified by the fact that the change is being made for my convenience as much as the doctor's. The old Joe would not have been so forgiving. I fear I have spent most of my life with my eyes fixed on the finish line without appreciating the time I've spent getting there. When traveling, I have focused on being somewhere instead of getting there. There have been exceptions, and I have learned from them. For example, there's the time my wife and I were scheduled to travel from Rome to Venice by train. We had made the arrangements weeks in advance. On the day of the scheduled trip, rail workers went on strike. We went to the train station anyway, hoping the strike might end earlier than planned or that a special train might be dispatched for tourists like us. As it turned out a train did make the trip, and we managed to get on with hundreds of college students loaded down with backpacks and willing to sit in the corridors. Along the way we were joined in our compartment by a father and daughter who turned out to be delightful company. It was the daughter who, sensing my concern about the trip, said: "You will make it, sooner or later. And if it's later, you get to spend an extra night in Florence. Is that bad?" I now spend more time looking for detours to Florence. And it's not bad. Not bad at all. jsullivan@semissourian.com