A devilish visit in my dreams

I had a dream that a man materialized and said he could get into my heart because he was the devil. I asked if I had died, and he said not yet. "But when you do, I expect you to be my chief assistant." He said God had rejected me.

The Devil explained how God makes his decisions. Politicians find it difficult to get into heaven. However, God has made a special place for two former presidents who were kind enough to encourage banks to lend money to the poor for housing. But since the mortgages backed by Freddie and Sallie were for the poor, they couldn't make the payments.

"I understand the current administration is trying to force insurance companies to issue policies to those with pre-existing conditions," the Devil said, "which places those companies in a position similar to the banks."

The Devil said he expects to gain many additional subjects as a result of the health care farce. "As the Devil, I will be in the details."

Elderly patients who are mistreated will probably get a welcome from God, the devil said.

He added: "Young men and women who have planned a medical career won't want to work under these conditions."Just then my phone rang, waking me from this dream world.

IRA HUDSON, Mound City, Ill.