WE ARE FAMILY; STOVERINKS SAY FLEXIBILITY KEY TO SMOOTH SAILING IN FAMILY OF EIGHT

Being part of a big family means helping one's siblings. Julie, 17, left, often assists Jennifer, 16, with her math homework.

Jadie, four months, is the youngest of the Stoverink children, but she may not be the last, Carol Stoverink said.

The Stoverink family's doorway tells the story.

On the right, there are six evenly spaced hooks, each with one or two coats piled on it. On the left, there's a tie-rack-turned-rosary-holder, with 16 rosaries swinging from it.

Straight ahead is a big table and eight chairs and a shelf with seven different boxes of breakfast cereal.

So it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out there are kids in the Stoverink household. A lot of kids.

There's Julie, 17, the brainy extrovert. Jennifer, 16, the pretty socialite. Jean, 13, quiet and observant. John, 9, the family entertainer. Joseph, 6, introverted and clever. And, of course, Jadie, four months old and always grinning.

They're all different, but they're all the offspring of Al and Carol Stoverink, who decided early in their marriage they wanted a family of whatever size God gave them. He's 41, she's 40, but they still aren't sure God is finished with his blessings yet. That's fine with them.

But it's not fine with everyone else. In today's world, one kid is expected, two are fine, three raise a few eyebrows, four elicit comment and five -- well, it's unheard of.

The Stoverink family has a mental collection of comments from people with fewer children. It includes everything from the typical ("You have HOW many kids?") to the slightly rude ("There's a way to stop that, you know.") to the creative ("Al needs to watch more television.").

The Stoverinks don't really care. Al came from a family with 11 children, and Carol, with fewer siblings, always loves Stoverink get-togethers.

"I always think it's strange because this is a big family for today, but it's only half the size of my father's," Al said. "I always wonder how my mom and dad made it out there on the farm."

The Stoverink family is making it just fine. All the school-age children attend Notre Dame High School or St. Vincent de Paul Grade School, Dad works at Southeast Missouri State University and Mom runs the family laundry, food, cleaning and taxi service.

They attribute their success to flexibility and hard work.

"Since I was old enough to drive, I've been driving everyone everywhere," Julie said. "But Mom doesn't have to ask us to do a lot. When there are so many people, it comes naturally. Mom does most of the work."

The Stoverinks do things in multiples most people aren't used to. Carol does at least 18 loads of laundry a week. The family drinks eight gallons of milk a week and eats almost a whole loaf of bread per day. Recipes are automatically doubled or tripled to fit the number of children eating at home.

"You have to be able to go with the flow," Carol said. "We're content to live with a certain level of clutter."

They're also content with a different standard of living, she said. While all the children are well-groomed and their home is in a nice neighborhood, there are sacrifices to be made. Some of the kids' friends talk about having waterbeds and personal televisions, but the Stoverink children know that's out of the question.

The family has what they need, Al said, although not always what they want.

"God always provides," he said. "Every time we've had another baby, it has come with a job promotion, a raise or even a better job."

But there are challenges. There are schedules to keep straight, children to guide, bills to pay. With all of it, the Stoverinks are able to keep their 18-year marriage happy and alive.

There were roses on the table Wednesday -- a gift from Al to Carol. And they attend marriage encounter seminars to spend time alone and learn about their relationship. Last year, they learned that they think alike and understand each other more than ever.

"The challenge of spending time together makes it more interesting," Carol said. "We have to be creative."

The three older girls said they enjoy being part of a big family, and even their friends like coming over and watching all the action. If they're blessed with the right husbands, the girls said, they wouldn't mind having several children.

And that makes their mother proud and pleased.

"I feel no regret," she said. "My life is full, my table is full, and I'm happy."