THE CASE OF THE WATERMELON PATCH MYSTERY; CHAPTER 12: IT REALLY WAS A GOURD...NO KIDDING

LAST WEEK: Eddy has figured out how to crack open a watermelon ... er, gourd. It's as simple as dropping a rock on it. Now, Hank is forced to take the test.

Eddy the Rac had just succeeded in cracking open one of the ... whatever-it-wases ... a watermelon or a big gourd. That was the cause of our argument, see, whether it was a watermelon or a gourd. And now we were ready to submit it to rigorous scientific testing.

"OK, Eddy, you got it open. Now, what's the test?"

He flashed a quick smile. "Easy. Watch this." He scooped up a handful of juicy red material from the center and held it out to me. "Take a bite. Taste test. Watermelon's sweet, gourd's bitter."

I had to chuckle. "Won't work, Eddy. See, dogs don't eat watermelons or gourds."

"Coyotes eat 'em."

"Yeah, well, coyotes will eat anything, and they're also wild and crazy. The point is that dogs eat no vegetables, only meat."

"How about bread?"

"OK, we eat bread every now and then."

"Red beans?"

"Yes, we've been known to eat a few red beans."

"Cornbread?"

"Hey Eddy, there's a fine line between being right and being a pain in the neck. So maybe we do eat vegetables now and then, but dogs don't eat watermelons."

"It's a gourd. Try it."

I heaved a sign. "You just keep pushing, don't you? Okay, pal, to prove you wrong I'll have to taste it." I stepped towards the material in his hands and gave it a sniff. It smelled ... pretty good, actually. "Now let's go over this one more time, Eddy. Bitter means gourd. Sweet means watermelon. Right?"

"Right."

"OK, here we go. One tiny bite for science." I took a small piece into my mouth, rolled it around on my tongue, and chewed it up.

Hmmm.

HMMMMMM!

"Eddy, let me run one more question past you. If it's a bitter gourd, Sally May wouldn't want to sell it to some unsuspecting customer, right?"

"Right."

"I mean, she'd probably be glad if it just ... well, vanished, so to speak. Or someone ate it."

"Right. Gourd or watermelon?"

I licked my chops and savored the ... uh ... bitter taste in my mouth. "Eddy, I hate to say this, but in the interest of science and research and so forth, I must report that it's a gourd. No question about it. Very bitter. Extremely bitter. Unfit for human consumption."

"Oh darn."

"But in the interest of science and so forth, I think we have a duty to test it further, just to be sure. Give me another bite."

I took another bite, this one quite a bit bigger than the first one. I mean, we needed to run our, uh, testing procedures on larger quantities.

Slurp, slurp.

Eddy took a big bite. His eyes popped open. "Oh yes!"

"Pretty bad, huh?"

"Right. Awful. It's a gourd."

"Yeah, what a tragedy. All that hard work and then the watermelons got messed up by the moonbeams. It's a real shame, and give me another bite, pal." Slop, slurp. "No question about it. This is a gourd, Eddy. You were right."

"Yeah." He began stuffing it in with both hands. "Bitter. Terrible. Awful stuff."

He pitched me another hunk and I snagged it right out of the air. Slurp, slurp.

"Yes, we've saved Sally May from a major embarrassment." Slop, slurp. "Why, if she'd taken this old bitter thing into town and sold it to the grocery store, it might have ruined her ... dig me out another hunk, Eddy. This stuff is, uh, really awful."

He threw both hands out in front of himself. They were open and empty. He grinned. "Gone. What do you think?"

"What do I think?" I tossed a glance over in the direction of Slim's camp. No signs of life, except for his heavy snoring. "It appears that we're all alone, Eddy."

"Yeah. Try another one?"

His question hung in the air between us. I had a feeling that I should say no. I also had a feeling that I would say yes.

NEXT WEEK: Hank does a scientific study.