TEEN MOTHERS: NOT `HAPPILY EVER AFTER'

At 16, Crystal worries that maybe the "happily ever after" family life she dreamed of may not come true.

The mother of a four-month old son, she advises her friends to wait.

"Now that I had a baby everyone is saying `I want a baby.' I tell them `No you don't.' I tell them to wait until they are a little older and no, it's not really a lot of fun."

Crystal, who asked that her last name not be used, became a statistic last year -- one of the pregnant teen-agers the county, state and nation keeps tabs on.

But being a single teen-age parent isn't what she hoped for. While she loves her son, she says it's tough. "And I want him to have a dad and a family." She concedes that may not be in the cards for her. But she still hopes.

Crystal said few of her friends even raised an eyebrow when they learned she was pregnant.

Crystal estimates that 90 percent of the high school kids she knows are sexually active. "I knew one girl who was 12 years old her first time." Crystal was 14. "I liked this guy a lot and he kind of persuaded me, saying it was what everyone else was doing," Crystal said. "I wish I would have waited until I got married. It would be a lot more special then."

She was 15 years old when she got pregnant. She dated the baby's father about a month before she conceived. "After I told him, he tried to say it wasn't his. He still does.

"I was really scared to tell my mom," Crystal said. "I was afraid she would kick me out. When I told her she started crying and that made me feel bad. But then she told me we could work it out."

When she returned to school this fall, visibly pregnant, Crystal said a couple of people told her they didn't think she was the type of person to get pregnant.

"But, you know, there isn't a `type' of person. All different kinds of people get pregnant," she said.

Her son was born in October.

Crystal and the baby live with her mother and stepfather. She plans to stay in school. "It's hard, but it will pay off," she said.

Being a teen parent is tough too. While her friends worry about what shoes to wear and who is dating whom, Crystal said, "I always have someone else to think about. I have to put him before me."

When she graduates from high school she hopes to be accepted in the vocational school's Licensed Practical Nurse program and eventually to become a registered nurse.

At 15, Marie was the victim of a date rape and got pregnant.

"I have been through a lot," said Marie, now 17. "I feel like I should tell people, so they don't end up the same way I have."

Marie, who asked that her name not be used, said she was a virgin when she was raped, but she was in the minority. "Most of my friends do have sex, and they don't hide it. Instead they go into all the details. I don't know what's gotten into society. It's just completely turned around."

Marie recalls the day when her family found out about the pregnancy. "My mother was upset -- very. My stepdad, well he just took it that I was pregnant. I just thought, `Oh my God. What am I going to do? How am I going to raise him by myself?'"

Marie admits she can't raise him by herself. "I have had a lot of help."

Her son was born a year ago in September. They live at home. Her stepfather has footed most of the bills. Welfare pays $50 a week day care to allow Marie to finish high school. She is a senior and will graduate this spring.

"If it hadn't been for that (government assistance), I would probably have dropped out of school," Marie said.

She's been planning for the future. Marie has completed four hours of computer classes at the Cape Girardeau Area Vocational Technical School and believes she may have skills to get a good job.

Marie dreams of attending college or business school. But she's not sure she can afford it.

While she loves her son, Marie admits there have been many sacrifices. While her friends are dating and going to parties, she and another friend, who also has a baby, walk through Wal-Mart or push strollers through the mall.

"I always wanted a baby ever since my sister had her first baby, but not under these circumstances," she said.