TEEN MOMS LEARN TO WAIT; PROGRAM AIMS TO KEEP CHILDREN OF YOUNG MOTHERS FROM HAVING PROTHERS AND SISTERS -- FOR NOW

After graduating from high school two years ago, Nikki Harris expected to work awhile before returning to school to gain skills she would need to open her own business. She had plans and goals.

She never knew what hit her when, only a year later, she became pregnant at the age of 19.

"I was shocked. I remember thinking my mother was going to kill me," said Harris, 20. "All I kept thinking was how the television and everybody always said your life is over."

Members of Teen Pregnancy Responsibility Network, known at TPRN, said those feelings are common in teen mothers. The network is a 12-year old affiliation of educational and social agencies in Cape Girardeau County. It holds bimonthly meetings to develop programs that educate teens about sexual responsibility and avoiding a second pregnancy and provide their parents with information on how to adjust to their new roles.

"We want to keep them from having any babies while they're young, but even if that happens we want to keep them from having multiple births, which often happen with teens," said Carol Saarf, a nurse who works with teen mothers at the Cape Girardeau County Public Health Center.

Harris said her mother supported her rather than becoming angry when she learned of her daughter's pregnancy. That support, coupled with assistance from nurses at the health center, was enough to help Harris become prepared for life with her son, Malik.

"I was lucky because I had my family to help me out," she said. "My situation is different from a lot of teen-aged mothers."

TPRN members said teens often don't have the family support they need and don't know where to go to get help. Most young girls who become pregnant need to be led to the agencies and people who are willing to help. When no one is available to tell them where to go for help, young parents often end up doing nothing.

"If they come upon one door that's closed, that's it," said Michelle Dewrock of the Parents as Teachers program. "Unless you're on them every day, it's hard to keep up with them, and we end up losing a lot of them through the cracks."

Dewrock said she works with many teens in her role as a parent educator, and most are struggling so hard to make ends meet they don't have time to be concerned about life's necessities. Most teen parents have to contend with nonsupportive parents and inadequate housing, she said, and there is no time to think about completing their education or even getting proper health care.

"She's not worried about going to get her GED; she's worried about surviving," said Dewrock. "When I'm working with them at the school, it can be frustrating because I can't get to the parenting issues because of the basic needs."

Although Cape Girardeau County has a number of social-services agencies that have programs for teen parents, few adults and fewer teens know what is available. There is no public clearinghouse that refers teens to the programs that best fit their needs, and because of that it is difficult to find the teen-agers who need help.

The group is in the process of developing a brochure that will include the names of agencies, specific programs and telephone numbers for each program that targets teen parents.

"When I had my daughter I didn't know anything," said Gina Crites, 20, an AmeriCorps worker who gave birth at the age of 16. "I managed to get my GED, get a job and later become a certified nurse's aide, but that was because of my drive, my motivation to do something."

Crites, who works with the county health department and Caring Communities, said there are a number of programs available that teach parenting skills and child-development issues, but more programs need to be developed that concentrate on teen advisement and peer support.

"A 14-year-old doesn't want an adult to talk to -- it's easier for them to talk with someone at their level," she said. "AmeriCorps has volunteers in all of the schools and with other organizations. As someone who's been there, I would like to work as a mentor with these girls and help them through this. They need to know they're not alone."

Harris agreed. Teen-aged parents need to know they have someone who cares and who they can talk to, she said. It's a sad fact that teens often blow off the advice of adults and seek help from their friends, she said.

She said she hopes young girls without the familial support she had will use the services offered by groups like TPRN. Teen-aged pregnancies make life hard, but it is never too late to learn from your mistakes, she said.

As for Harris, she said school, not another child, is in her immediate future. She plans to register as a freshman at Southeast Missouri State University in the fall to begin working on her original goals.

"I'm doing what I planned to do," she said. "Even though it might get hard, a baby doesn't have to end the mom's life. They just need to keep their head up. It's very stressful, but what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger."

TEEN PREGNANCY RESPONSIBILITY NETWORK MEMBERS

Cape Girardeau County Public Health Center

Cape Girardeau Public Schools

East Missouri Action Agency Family Planning

Lutheran Family & Children's Services

Southeast Missouri Hospital

Southeast Missouri State University

University of Missouri Extension

TARGETING TEEN PARENTS

Agencies that provide programs for teen parents:

East Missouri Action Agency

Contact: Michelle Elkins, 334-2516

-- Medical Clinic Services - Complete women's reproductive health services, including all methods of birth control and pregnancy testing.

-- Educational Services - Resource loan library and educator to present programs on variety of sexual health issues. Parent-child sexuality education classes for kids ages 9-12 and 13-16.

University of Missouri Outreach and Extension Office

Contact: Mary Gosche, Donna Taacke, 243-3581

-- Printed material on child and family development and parenting education series available to community or in partnership with other agencies. Programs available on teen pregnancy prevention, communication and review of sexuality curriculum.

Lutheran Family and Children's Services

Contact: Molly Stricklan, 334-5866

-- Counseling to teens and young adults with unplanned pregnancy. Individuals, couples and their extended family members can all be involved. Services available for people regardless of age, religion, race, etc. No fee for services.

Cape Girardeau County Public Health Center

Contact: Jane Wernsman, 335-7846

Pregnancy testing, case management, WIC (nutritional education for women, infants and children), family planning services.

Generations Family Resource Center

Contact LaDonna Wills, 651-5825

Health information available for all ages. Provides pregnancy, prenatal and newborn care and parenting information. Books and videos available for checkout and classes are held on all topics.

Caring Communities

Contact: Sherri Spark, 651-3747

-- Young parents support group. Tenn-aged parents meet weekly to learn parent skills, build support networks among each other, and gain socialization skills.

-- Adolescent support group. Girls 10-14 learn decision-making skills, build self-esteem, improve communication skills and develop a support network.