Stepping off life's hectic treadmill

Life is extremely busy for almost everyone -- like running on a treadmill. The difference is one can step off a treadmill anytime he desires, unlike dismissing life's demands.

One morning while lackadaisically sipping my usual cup of steaming black coffee, I tried to understand why I didn't feel as happy and fulfilled as usual. Everything in my life was wonderful, measured by the world's standards. I was healthy, possessed enough material possessions, friends, acceptance, and I had a loving family. And I usually accomplished my desired goals, with God's help. Nevertheless, I felt lethargic and joyless -- a sharp contrast to my usual optimism. Then suddenly an insight emerged, like a fiery streak of lightning.

I hadn't been taking much time to enjoy my own company to renew my relationship with myself. I hadn't been able to spend unhurried time with loved ones. Although I attended family baptisms, funerals, made hospital visits, and enjoyed dinners out with loved ones -- I always felt rushed. I wanted the people I cared about to feel my love for them, but my preoccupation with other obligations was getting in the way.

Fortunately, I remembered the Scripture concerning Martha and Mary, when Jesus said to Martha, "You are worried by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42. The time Mary took with Jesus was far more important than Martha's scurrying around to perform duties.

I had found the solution to my quandary. It was necessary for my well-being to reserve time every day to rebuild from within. Also, I should honor my need to give loved ones my full emotional attention as well as my physical presence, eliminating distractions and genuinely sharing. As I again searched Scripture I found that Jesus visited friends, attended weddings, and shared meals with others -- purely desiring their company.

Many people are frightened to forgo particular activities, fearing emptiness and loneliness in their lives. I was recently inspired while talking with a retired priest living in an assisted-care facility. I asked him if he felt depressed and unneeded when he was forced to stop driving and maintaining his own home. His response impressed me. "I have never been concerned that God would not always have a purpose for me." People still visit him and seek his advice.

After examining my hectic lifestyle I decided I must step off the treadmill and better attend to relationships. I must choose my "must do" list wisely and prioritize time to communicate with the spiritual in order to nurture my deepest inner self.

Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary's Cathedral Parish in Cape Girardeau.