Return to the nest: More adult children are moving back home with parents

In the 2006 movie "Failure to Launch," the desperate parents of 35-year-old Tripp try everything they can to get him to move out of their family home, including hiring a beautiful woman, Paula, to help entice him out the door.

Yet Tripp (Matthew McConaughey) is perfectly happy with his living situation. After all, he has a cool car, a nice job and plenty of female interest coming his way -- not to mention being free from the burden of a mortgage and the other responsibilities faced by his friends.

Eventually, happily ever after is achieved when Tripp and Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker) ride off into the sunset. But Tripp's story, although Hollywood extreme, is being experienced by families all over the country.

That's especially true for members of the Millennial generation, or those born in the early 1980s to around 2000.

A 2013 study by the Pew Research Center found that 36 percent of the nation's 18- to 31-year-olds were living with their parents. About half of those 21.6 million young adults were college age. And, like the fictional Tripp, young men were 40 percent more likely to be living at home with mom and dad than their female counterparts.

Thirty something Man Lying Asleep on a Sofa in an Apartment

Dr. David Yaskewich, director of the Center for Economic and Business Research at Southeast Missouri State University, says the reason for the trend probably has its roots in the Great Recession, when jobs were scarce and economic turmoil was the word of the day.

Although conditions have improved since the recession ended in the summer of 2009, job pressure has remained an issue for many.

The primary reason so many young people are choosing to return to the nest, Yaskewich says, is directly related to their ability to find full-time, good-paying jobs.

Without the financial independence of a decent, steady income, it's often easier to get through the search where room and board cost little to nothing.

In that kind of scenario, living with others -- aka, mom and dad -- is the perfect opportunity to save for the down payment on a home, lower personal debt-to-income ratio and spread out living expenses.

That's provided, of course, the family home is in an area with plentiful jobs, and expenses such as rent or utilities don't fluctuate.

"The parents might live somewhere the jobs aren't," Yaskewich says.

In Missouri, for example, 60 percent of available jobs are centered in seven counties: St. Louis County, City of St. Louis (which is its own county), St. Charles, Jackson, Clay, Boone and Greene counties. Jackson and Clay counties are in the Kansas City area, Boone is home to the University of Missouri, and Greene County is in the Springfield area.

While some former students might live close enough to commute to those places, others might live out in more rural areas, or places with little opportunity for new members of the workforce.

"In some areas, there might be entry level jobs that pay well and (in others) those that don't pay well," Yaskewich says.

That's especially true depending on what field of study someone pursued, as well as the geography involved.

Another twist is that sometimes people with more college debt are actually more likely to live on their own, because the debt might reflect more time spent earning higher degrees that qualify them for jobs with bigger salaries. And bigger salaries mean a quicker path out of debt.

Is your nest getting a little crowded?

When adult children return to the nest, the situation can be fraught with tension and plain old discomfort if not handled correctly.

Jan Ward, a counselor and professor of counseling at Southeast Missouri State University, has some suggestions for making the best of it:

• Communication is key. Before the adult child moves back in, have a formal meeting to set expectations about things like guests, household chores and living expenses.

• It might even be good to sign a contract based on whatever decisions are reached and to continue meeting at regular intervals.

“They could do that even if there isn’t an issue,” Ward says.

• To avoid resentment or ambiguity down the road, it’s best if the adult child has a set goal for when to move out.

• Don’t set a curfew or give advice without being asked.

• Don’t cook meals for the adult child. That can set him or her up for taking you for granted or becoming too dependent, Ward says.