Parent mentoring program seeks donations after being left out of governor's budget recommendations

Striving to raise awareness and money for a state program meant to empower young parents, the director of the local Missouri Mentoring Partnership has put on some pounds.

Charles DiStefano made his first appearance as a "pregnant" man at the Little Lambs Children's Sale at the West Park Mall on Tuesday, after $257 was pledged for the Missouri Mentoring Partnership Young Parent Program. He spent an hour and 15 minutes in the 35-pound Empathy Belly while he shopped the consignment sale and browsed pregnancy books at Barnes and Noble Booksellers and will wear the pregnancy simulator again if more donations are made.

The push for donations is because the program is not included in Gov. Jay Nixon's 2011 budget recommendations.

Last year, the Missouri Mentoring Partnership of Cape Girardeau and Bollinger Counties was allocated nearly $130,000, which let the program provide around 30 young mothers help with parenting, employment and education skills. It has been an item in the state budget for 15 years.

"We have reserve funds that, as it stands, could make it possible to continue for another year, but with staff reductions and program reductions to make it a very minimal program," DiStefano said.

As it is now, the local Young Parent Program is open to women ages 21 and younger who are pregnant or are parenting a child younger than 2. The program aims to keep communication open between young moms and to help build relationships.

The program also includes an opportunity for young dads to learn about raising a baby and meet other dads during monthly work sessions.

Through monthly meetings and matchups with mentors, the program offers young couples a variety of parenting tools and tips on what to expect during pregnancy.

"It's a support group. You're 18, you're at home with your kid, but where are your friends?" DiStefano said. "We want this be its own community."

The area Young Parent Program enrolls around 40 parents per year, with about 30 of them mothers. Most of the moms are matched with a mentor from within the community who can provide the support they may not get from friends or family.

For Vanessa Cousins, 20, and Nick Ortmann, 21, Southeast Missouri State University students who are raising their first child, Aubrey, together, having a mentor to lean on has been important.

"It's nice to be able to text her or call her, talk to her and ask her questions. She's someone I wouldn't have known otherwise," Cousins said of her mentor. "It's a really good resource to use because, for us, we don't have family down here."

'Teachable moments'

DiStefano said he prefers the mentors and moms spend six hours per month together and, while he's not specific to what they should be doing during their time together, he likes the hours to be productive. A trip to the supermarket to pick out healthy foods for the baby may be time well spent, he said.

"They find those teachable moments where they work one-on-one with Mom. They provide them with that support and encouragement," DiStefano said.

The monthly meetings give Cousins and other moms an outlet to discuss issues many young moms encounter, such as managing finances, dealing with the "terrible twos" and balancing work and caring for an infant. The program also assists young couples with setting goals, which for Cousins and her fiance is finishing college.

When they meet certain goals, the Young Parent Program allocates Monopoly-style "mommy money" and "daddy dollars," which can be used at auctions the staff hosts twice a year.

At the auctions, DiStefano said parents can purchase diapers and baby wipes, clothing, toys and other items, many of which are donated by businesses in the community.

"They try and bid each other out on the items," he said. "They've been earning these incentive credits and now they're getting to use it to support their children."

At an auction last fall, Cousins and Ortmann used their money to stock up on diapers for newborns.

"We cleaned house. It sounds silly, but we did," Cousins said. "It really helped us."

The Young Parent Program, however, isn't meant for young couples looking for "freebies," DiStefano said. Parents have to have a desire to raise their child right and be enthusiastic about self-improvement.

"We don't have a lot of incentives to give out; there are no handouts," he said. "We're also looking for parents who want to raise their one child and postpone a repeat pregnancy."

The national average for repeated pregnancies among young parents is 25 percent.

Missouri's average mirrors the national numbers, while moms in the Missouri Mentoring Program are averaging around 5 percent for a second pregnancy.

So, while it appears state funds may not be available after June 30, the issue of teen pregnancy isn't going away, DiStefano said.

"For younger moms, I feel like they would be missing several opportunities, because for them its really, really important," Cousins said. "They may not have ideal role models. This program helps you see there are other people that are or have done the same thing you are doing."

People interested in making donations to the program can visit www.firstgiving.com/communitycaringcouncil.

ehevern@semissourian.com

388-3635