New local program aimed at helping men 'be better dads'

Ron North of Cape Girardeau is one of two full-time "life transformation" coaches with Every Day Dad, one of the new programs offered by Community Partnership of Southeast Missouri (CPSEMO).

With Father's Day approaching, North is clear about his mission.

"We're just trying to create a bunch of healthy humans," North said. "My goal, our goal, is to support [the dads] in where they want to go. The healthy human thing is my mantra; that's my goal in life. I know what healthy means to me. Whatever their version of healthy is, I'm looking to support them."

The Every Day Dad (EDD) initiative has an overall goal, according to literature from Community Partnership, "of empowering low-income fathers (and) to strengthen families with children who have non-custodial fathers."

EDD, which serves Cape Girardeau, Bollinger, Perry and Scott counties, has "an emphasis on fathers who are incarcerated, on probation or on parole."

EDD's literature promises each participating dad up to six months of "core services," via workshops and case management, with follow-up help, as needed, for up to six months thereafter.

North and Lisa Phillips are the two full-time EDD staff funded by a $115,000 annual grant for three years received through the Family Support Division of the Missouri Department of Social Services, according to Melissa Stickel, CPSEMO's executive director.

Fatherhood changing

The organization WalletHub this week released lists of the best and worst U.S. states for working dads (Missouri is not on either) and suggested the notion of fatherhood has changed over time.

"Back in 1960, 75% of American families relied on a single income, usually that of the dad, who spent much of his week at work while mom stayed home with the kids. Now, 69.2% of married mothers are gainfully employed and while that's still quite a bit lower than the 93.3% of married fathers who do, the gap is closing," WalletHub said.

"The contemporary dad no longer fits neatly into the standard of the married breadwinner and disciplinarian. That's been especially true during the COVID-19 pandemic, where many fathers have been working from home and have taken on more childcare duties as a result," the report concluded.

Investing in dads

The grant money for the local EDD program originally comes from Washington, through a program established in 2005 by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services called Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood (HMRF).

The federal HHS last fall made 113 HMRF awards to organizations in 30 states, including CPSEMO, with an announced goal "to strengthen families, build stronger relationships, promote responsible parenting, enhance father-child engagement and improve family economic stability."

The Every Day Dad name was created by CPSEMO.

"We want to help especially non-custodial fathers to be a dad 'every day,' not just at the times they may have visitation," said Stickel, who has headed Community Partnership since 2017 and which just last month moved into its new offices in Cape Girardeau's former police headquarters at 40 S. Sprigg St.

There are currently 50 fathers enrolled in the program.

"(EDD) is entirely voluntary, not court-ordered and there are no mandates to be here," North said, adding, "the program is for men who want to be better dads."

On the third Wednesday of each month, fathers in the program gather with EDD staff for food and to hear a topic discussed related to parenting.

On Aug. 21, EDD plans a Saturday morning family outing -- for dads, kids and anybody else who wants to attend.

Although the logistics are still being worked out, tentatively the venue will be at Cape County Park North.

"We're going to have a team from (the Missouri Department of Conservation) out there, showing people how to put a worm on a hook and do some fishing," North said. "There may be some boat rides and we'll have hot dogs -- just a fun day to spend some time out in nature."

Issues

"Most of the men we end up working with, not all, but most, have some sort of child support (obligation) and we can verify that piece of it. We work with those fathers and the child support division on repayment," Stickel advised.

"Child support can take a large percentage of income and, oftentimes, that's a disincentive for people to work. If they don't work, they can't pay child support, so we work with that individual and the state on a more feasible repayment plan so long as (the dads) participate in our services," she added.

Making progress

"Lisa and I do an intake survey to find out what each man's goal is, whether it be employment, education or better parenting skills," North said.

"We've had a couple of guys go through our personal and professional development course who are now getting their CDL (commercial driver's license) and are talking about starting their own trucking company," he added.

"To see them go from being at home and not really having a plan to being on the brink of having their own business, that, to me, is success, because they're starting to accomplish what they want to do," North opined.

For more information on Every Day Dad, visit www.cpsemo.org or call (573) 651-3747.