MENTORS FOR MOTHERS: PROGRAM GIVES AID TO TEEN MOTHERS

Sixteen-year-old Katrina Watkins is a good mom by all accounts.

But, she says, had it not been for the help of the Missouri Mentoring Program, she is not sure how she would have handled having a baby at such a young age.

"I still would have been in denial probably until I had her," she says.

Her 11-month-old daughter, JayLa, crawls about Katrina's feet, stopping just long enough to look up at her mother with bright, happy eyes and a grin that shows off two tiny baby teeth.

"She's such a ham," Katrina says with a smile as she reaches down to pick up JayLa and deposit her into her lap.

Katrina is one of 18 young women in Cape Girardeau and Scott counties who found themselves facing the difficult prospect of teen pregnancy and sought help from the Missouri Mentoring Partnership's parenting program.

The partnership, which pairs expectant teen mothers with adult mentors, just completed its first year with none of the participating mothers becoming pregnant again a notable success for organizers.

The mentors help to guide the girls through their pregnancies, offer advice and provide a shoulder for the girls to lean on. When the girls are old enough or get to a point where it is appropriate, they participate in the partnership's worksite program.

Stacy Taylor, coordinator of the parenting program, says organizers have a lot of pride in the program and the mothers.

"The easiest thing to attribute (the program's success) to is we have a really good group of moms," Taylor says. "They are motivated to continue their education and get out and get jobs. We also have a really good group of mentors."

The partnership is funded by the Missouri Department of Social Services. Girls can refer themselves to the program or can be referred by another agency.

Taylor says there are numerous requirements for the pregnant teens to participate in the program. For instance, they must fill out a lot of paperwork about themselves, their goals and their lifestyle.

They also must participate in a 10-hour class in which they learn about what to expect during pregnancy, what childbirth is going to be like and how to take care of a baby.

Additionally, the girls are asked to attend monthly support group sessions.

Mentors also must go through a training session and background check, and the girls and their mentors must spend at least six hours a month together.

"We think that's enough time to get to know each other, but also enough time for school, jobs and family," Taylor says.

The program has about a dozen mentors, but more are needed, according to Marge Sullivan, director of the Missouri Mentoring Partnership, who adds that mentors come from all walks of life.

"What we need are big hearts, a little bit of time and some skill in sharing life experiences with our girls," she says.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the birth rate for teenagers declined three percent between 1998 and 1999 for girls between the ages of 15 and 19 -- the lowest rate in the 60 years such data has been recorded.

But officials attribute the national decline to increased emphasis on education and on pre- and post-natal care.

One way in which the parenting program encourages pre- and post-natal, care is to offer "mommy money" to girls who go to doctors appointments, provide documentation of immunizations and even get and keep jobs for at least 90 days or finish high school.

The girls, in turn, can use the money, which is similar to Monopoly money, to purchase baby and maternity supplies, such as infant tubs, toiletries and clothing, in a program-run "store."

"Some girls don't have supportive parents at home, and that's where we come in," Sullivan said. "Some of the girls are the adults in the home and need our support. One reason we started the program was to fill in the gaps."

Jennifer Leimer, 18, is familiar with the "gaps" in support. She has a 3-month-old daughter, Dakota, and she chose her mother, Ronda Elfrink, to be her parenting mentor.

Jennifer says she found out she was pregnant in November, graduated early from high school in December, started a job in March and had Dakota in July.

She says she remembers being in denial and feeling as if she had been cut off by her friends.

"You have all these mixed feelings. You're thinking, I'm just a teenager. I can't have a baby,'" Leimer says.

"The only ones who understand are the ones who went through the same things. Your friends change. After they find out you're pregnant they say, 'Sorry. This isn't going to work.' But they're doing the same things; they just didn't get caught."

Jennifer, who lives in Fruitland with her husband, Bryan, works full-time for Davault Marketing Group in Cape Girardeau. She was offered the position while out on maternity leave, which came as a relief to her because she was afraid she would have to quit in search of a job with benefits for Dakota.

Jennifer says the best part of the mentoring program was having her mother as a mentor.

"I was 15, about to have a baby, and I didn't know how to change a diaper. Mom showed me. She didn't yell at me. She just showed me how to do it," Jennifer says.

"She taught me how to give Dakota a bath and little stuff that as you become a mother you learn how to do. She comes over every night. We exercise and talk about Dakota. When I come to meetings, Mom comes with me."

Meanwhile, Katrina says she believes the best part of the program has been the opportunity to be part of a group in which no one judges the others and everyone is in the same boat.

"When I first started, everybody was pregnant, which made me feel better," she says. "The other teenagers can't say anything bad about you because they made the same mistakes."

Because of a program requirement, Katrina says, she and her mother were forced to talk about her pregnancy and their expectations for the baby and Katrina. She says it helped her to realize her mother was going to be accepting of the baby.

"When I found out she was OK with the baby, then I was more OK with the baby," Katrina says.

Katrina's future plans include becoming an obstetrician or a pediatrician.

"I'm not stopping nowhere. I'm going straight to college because when you get off the track, it's hard to get back on," she said.

DONATIONS NEEDED

The Missouri Mentoring Partnership is seeking donations of gently used maternity clothes and layette items. Organizers also are looking for women to volunteer as mentors to expectant teen mothers. For more information, call 800-451-0990 or 334-0990, extensions 33 or 34.