Mentor matches needed for area children

Big Brothers Big Sisters of Eastern Missouri is always looking for "bigs," volunteers who share four to six hours a month with "littles," children ages 5 to 17, but the Big Brother portion of the equation is especially hard to find.

Ashley Beggs, executive director for Big Brothers Big Sisters, Southern Region, said the agency serves 350 youngsters each year, with about 250 considered active.

"We have relationships that open and close throughout the year, so our daily census is around 250," she said.

The role of a big brother or sister is to support and encourage young people, Beggs said. She added it's always difficult asking anyone to give four to six hours a month, and the agency often has more big sisters than big brothers available.

"Over time nothing's changed with that," Beggs said. "What we've found is that oftentimes when men commit, they stay committed longer than big sisters because it takes them a little bit longer to get involved. But once they do, they often stay engaged."

Whitney Hemman, right, and Vantazia, her little sister through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, pose at Busch Stadium in St. Louis in August 2010. (Submitted)

Agencywide, the average length of matches for children is six years. However, it can take a significant amount of time to find the right big brother for any "little," though it takes longer to match little brothers.

Additionally, about 70 percent of the children Big Brothers Big Sisters serves come from single-parent homes, Beggs said. According to data from Kids Count in Missouri from 2013, the most recent available, 30.8 percent of children in Cape Girardeau County live in single-parent households.

"Volunteers have to make a one-year commitment. ... A lot of people want to do this, but they can't make that one-year commitment, and it may not be that they wouldn't be a great mentor, but it may not be the right time in their life to commit to a child," she said. "And the reason that we have that one-year commitment is that research tells us that it takes that long for there to be an impact in the life of the child."

Increased self-esteem and perception of success in life are two of the benefits the program can offer children. Teens in the program are less likely to begin using drugs or alcohol or to get involved in mischievous behaviors, Beggs said.

A study conducted by Harris Interactive in 2009 examined long-term outcomes for little brothers and sisters. It showed:

* 75 percent were more likely to have received a four-year college degree.

* 39 percent were more likely to have a current household income of $75,000 or more.

* 62 percent perceived themselves to have achieved a higher level of success than their peers who were not involved in the program.

Jason Lee, a chartered retirement planning counselor at Innovative Insurance Consultants in Cape Girardeau, is in his second stint as a big brother for 10-year-old Jesse. (Big Brothers Big Sisters' policy is to not reveal the full names of children in its program.)

As with most "bigs," Lee's role is more of a friend or mentor than a parental figure. He and Jesse often just hang out together, have dinner, play miniature golf, play games or attend sports events.

"It's just good to see the smile on his face and knowing that I'm helping him enjoy the time away [from home] and I'm making somewhat of a difference in his life," Lee said.

Lee said Jesse has opened up more since the first time they met.

"If we haven't seen each other in a while, he doesn't hesitate to pick up the phone and give me a call, which is good because sometimes I get busy," he said.

Whitney Hemman, who teaches first and second grade at United in Christ Lutheran School in Frohna, is a big sister to Vantazia, a 14-year-old Central High School student.

She and Vantazia love going out to eat together, watching movies, seeing concerts, going shopping and have attended St. Louis Cardinals games. They have also spent the weekend working in her classroom together.

Hemman enjoys showing Vantazia a different outlook on life and offering problem-solving skills.

"We have become true friends through the program," Hemman said.

When the two first met, Hemman said, Vantazia used to get in trouble at school a lot. That's now rare.

"She's super smart and always got good grades. She studies more. She just has different priorities" from when they first met, Hemman said.

Cape Girardeau resident Dan Strauss has been a mentor to a 10-year-old little brother for three years. Strauss, who is retired from the U.S. Postal Service and in his early 60s, has two children and three grandchildren of his own, but took a challenge from LaCroix Church to get more involved in helping children who don't have father figures in their lives.

Together, he and his little brother enjoy fishing and shopping for antiques. He usually picks the child up from school and has lunch with him "because he's a 10-year-old little boy, so he's always hungry. I was at that age."

When he gets a little bit older and his mother is OK with it, Strauss said maybe they can go hunting together and "just do guy stuff."

"He's got a great mom," Strauss said. And having a male role model is important.

Application process

The average time it takes to screen a big brother and sister is 30 days. Beggs said the agency works hard to ensure volunteers are well-matched with children.

Volunteers younger than 18 may serve as big brothers or sisters in a school or after-school setting, but there is no age limit overall.

"That's ... why that enrollment process is so important to us, because we really get a good idea from the family what the family makeup is [and] what it's like for them," Beggs said. "In some instances, some of the children we work with have never had a grandparent in their life, so this is an opportunity for them to ... be able to experience that through a person who would be comparable age to a grandparent."

Interviews are conducted with prospective volunteers and background checks are performed. Volunteers also undergo orientation to make sure they understand their role and don't confuse it with taking on parental responsibilities.

rcampbell@semissourian.com

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