Local domestic violence survivor shares her story

Leslie Washington didn't plan to move to Cape Girardeau, but she moved into a local shelter for abused people to avoid her violent ex-husband. Having survived domestic and gun violence, she recounts her past to help others.

"I mean, I'm grateful for his nieces and nephews," she said of her ex-husband's relatives. "Because had it not been for them, I probably would be dead because that was his intention -- was to kill me. So had he succeeded, I wouldn't be here today sharing my story. So I mean, I'm grateful for any chance, any opportunity I can get to share my story. Because a lot of women don't make it out."

During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Washington pointed out more people, including Southeast Missouri residents, are suffering from domestic violence during the COVID-19 pandemic.

"[Domestic violence] doesn't just happen in October. It definitely is happening during the midst of a pandemic. And it's just something that needs to be said, and, you know, if I can share my story, then, to help someone else that's potentially going through it, then I'm fine with that," she said.

According Kim Dixon, shelter director at Safe House of Southeast Missouri in Cape Girardeau, the shelter served 269 people in 2020. It's a stark comparison to the 131 served in 2019, she said.

Sgt. Cody Windbigler of Cape Girardeau County Sheriff's office said among Cape Girardeau and Jackson police departments and the county office, there were 2,133 domestic violence incidents reported in 2020.

Washington is involved with Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America and the Safe House of Southeast Missouri. In various speaking engagements, she shares how she was in a relationship with her abuser for nine years. All but one of her attempts to leave were unsuccessful.

"When I left, left my ex, he threatened me with a firearm. He always would say, 'I'm gonna kill you,' and this, that, and the third. And so for him to brandish a firearm on Instagram for everybody to see, with the fully loaded clip, sitting on the bed beside him, that sent that message that he was serious about what he was intending to do," Washington said. "So I just, I just was fearful after that. I was scared, I didn't want to do anything, you know, because when you're with an abuser, they tend to take your self esteem down to the next level."

In the fall 2013, she finally left her abuser. It began with the help of his nieces and nephews, who took pictures of her bruised and swollen body to the police. The police helped Washington finally report her husband for abuse and receive medical care.

They then found an open bed with the Safe House of Southeast Missouri. Washington said she got on a bus for a one way trip to Cape Girardeau and hasn't looked back since. The Safe House gave her the protection and resources to build a life of her own again from there on out.

"I turned my negatives into positives. A lot has come out of this situation. I'm safe and peaceful. I know I can wear what I want. I can do what I want," Washington said.

She said that sometimes, she still gets emotional talking about her past situation, but she has found the right resources to help her.

Washington said she hopes others in abusive relationships realize through her example that there is a way out and they can recover.

Safe House of Southeat Missouri has a free and confidential hotline, (573) 651-1614, and a 24-hour crisis hotline, (800) 341-1830. A textline is available at (573) 340-1060.