LIVING WITH AIDS: ADVOCATE WORKS FOR AWARENESS

With his shaved head and pierced ears, Ted Fedler cuts quite a figure in conservative Cape Girardeau.

When he moved here in April 1993, he let people know he had AIDS and intended to work as an advocate in the community. It didn't take long for folks to recognize Ted Fedler or to hear about the AIDS Project of Southeast Missouri, the organization he created.

Restaurants often fell silent when he walked through the door, and waiters and waitresses didn't linger to trade pleasantries.

"People were uneasy around me," Fedler said. "They had bought into the myth that AIDS is airborne. Now they know Ted as Ted, not just as the guy with AIDS."

The same people who once feared him now hug him, or at least shake his hand. Few days go by without someone thanking Fedler for helping people with AIDS (PWAs) or educating the community about preventing the spread of HIV.

But he is only one of about 131 PWAs living in Southeast Missouri.

Shelby Hawlett, 48, moved to Cape Girardeau from Sikeston in August 1994 and also found the community to be hospitable to PWAs. Her fiance died of AIDS Oct. 26, 1990, but he wasn't honest with her about his illness and his family didn't tell Hawlett the cause of his death.

When she found out the truth, she got tested for HIV. The first test she took was negative. Hawlett began battling uncontrollable diarrhea in 1993 and got tested again. It was positive.

"I went numb," she said. "I thought I was protected. When I told people, it frightened them, especially my three children. They asked me not to speak of it."

Hawlett didn't listen, though, and decided to do her part in the battle against AIDS by being open and honest with people about the disease. Some walked away and refused to be around her, but she said they weren't the kind she wanted to reach anyway.

Hawlett moved to Cape Girardeau to be closer to medical care. She has a roommate, Delores Vest, and lots of friends in her support group and in the community. She belongs to the pool league and shoots a few games when fatigue and body aches don't prevent it.

"It doesn't bother me that Shelby has AIDS," Hawlett's roommate said. "We use the same shower, the same washing machine. People shouldn't judge each other, they should care about each other. That's hard to find these days."

Joey Harbison, 34, agreed, but said his experiences as a PWA in Cape Girardeau have been nothing out of the ordinary. He tested positive for HIV in 1985 and hasn't shown AIDS-related symptoms other than fatigue and occasional depression.

When he moved here in 1993, he met Fedler and became involved with the AIDS Project. Although openly gay and honest about having AIDS, Harbison said he doesn't "get a lot of grief" from the community.

"I was shocked to find so many straight people and so many businesses donating time and money to the AIDS Project," Harbison said. "I grew up in Bunker, Mo., so I know how small-town attitudes can be. Here, people are very giving."

Fedler, who is also gay, applauded the community for the help it has given the AIDS Project, but said that people still pay too much attention to how PWAs caught the disease. If a hemophiliac contracts HIV, he is considered an innocent victim. If a sexually active person or someone who shares needles gets it, Fedler said, people show less compassion.

"That whole idea needs to be flushed down the toilet," he said. "We need to stop asking people who are HIV positive how they got infected. The problem is that they now have a fatal disease. Attention needs to go toward giving them a higher quality of life."