LFCS plans meeting during Adoption Awareness Month

Lutheran Family and Children's Services (LFCS) will hold an adoption meeting later this month to address questions and concerns from parents who want to adopt. November is National Adoption Awareness Month, and adoption and foster organizations are getting the word out about the adoption process.

Adoption services are offered through LFCS, including four main adoption processes: adoption through the foster care system, intercountry adoption, embryo adoption and domestic voluntary adoption.

Domestic voluntary adoption is a notable and brave route for a birth parent to take, said Evelyn Beussink, assistant director of LFCS's southeast region.

With 363 children in foster care as of Oct. 31 in the 32nd Judicial District, including Cape Girardeau, Perry and Bollinger counties, according to the Children's Division, Beussink said she'd like to see adoption become more socially acceptable and to be considered by parents -- who might not be able to provide for their birth children -- when they find themselves handling an unplanned pregnancy to keep more children safe.

Children enter the foster care system for a variety of reasons, including poverty, drugs or other abuse and neglect situations.

"Some of those children go back home to their biological families," Beussink said. "But if they're not able to, then they're in the situation where they're available for adoption."

Lutheran Family and Children's Services offers crisis pregnancy counseling through its Cape Girardeau office and throughout the state. This program allows LFCS social workers to work one-on-one with expectant mothers and fathers who find themselves dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. Beussink said in most cases they are helping these individuals get ready to be parents and supporting them along that journey, but around 5 percent to 10 percent of the women they work with in the southeast region choose domestic voluntary adoption. This choice allows the birth parents to have an active role in the family their child is adopted into, gives them a chance to maintain a relationship with their birth child and put their child's needs first.

She said most people have a positive view of adoption when thinking of the adoptive family and the adopted child, but the perception of the birth parents who made that choice is much more negative.

"All of the parents I know who've chosen [adoption] did it out of love and care and sacrifice for their child," Beussink said.

Making the choice of voluntary domestic adoption is still a loss and grievance for the birth family to sift through. LFCS offers a monthly support group for mothers who chose adoption, to be able to hear each other's stories and support one another. LFCS also offers support for adoptive families and adopted children.

"We say, 'Once you're a client, you're always a client.' We want to be here," Beussink said.

She also noted adopted children have an extra "layer" or "lens" on top of anything they might be going through as they grow up. Adoptive families should remember to consider this layer and consider how the child's adoption is affecting them at every developmental stage.

Just as adoptive families need to understand their adopted child's needs, Beussink also said it's important for the individuals in the community to offer support to families and to recognize the questions that might seem pretty simple might actually be emotionally-laden for the family.

"The family has to be the right family, who has the right attitude, mindset, skills," Beussink said. "Any family could do it, they just have to be prepared that there are going to be a lot of challenges along with the joys."

Anyone interested in adoption may attend LFCS's adoption informational meeting 5:30 p.m. Nov. 28 at their Southeast Region office at 3178 Blattner Drive, Cape Girardeau, Missouri.

kjackson@semissourian.com

573.388.3636