LEGISLATOR, DIVORCED PARENTS SEEK REPEAL OF RELOCATION LAW

A two-year-old Missouri law has become a surprise weapon in the bloody wars between some divorced parents.

Last July, Mary Long of Joplin, Mo., was about to embark on a new phase of her life. The primary caretaker of her two children and ignorant of the 1998 relocation law, Long was finalizing a move to Cape Girardeau to join her second husband and pursue classes at Southeast Missouri State University.

Then her ex-husband challenged the move under Missouri Senate Bill 910, which gives non-custodial parents the right to ask a court to veto their ex-spouses' relocation plans.

A Jasper County, Mo., circuit judge ruled in his favor, stating that Long's motives to move -- to live with her second husband and to continue her education -- were not legitimate reasons to transplant her children six hours by car from their father.

In his ruling, the judge wrote: "Relocating the children appears to be solely for the convenience of the mother." He transferred primary physical custody of both children to their father.

"I'd already quit my job, sold my house and moved everything I owned," Long said.

Some divorced Missourians with custody of their children say state law has them imprisoned in their communities with their ex-spouses as the jailers.

Long said she had no idea that in accepting primary physical custody of her children, who she shares in joint legal custody with her ex-husband, she was also accepting a statutorial leash.

"When I accepted that responsibility, I didn't know it meant that I couldn't move, that I couldn't pursue a career, that I was imprisoned to that area," she said.

Long's ex-husband did not return several calls seeking comment last week.

Things have improved for Long since the Jasper County court hearing. She moved to Cape Girardeau last year and plans to start a nursing job this week. She won back the primary custody of her daughter, Katie, 15. She said she plans to return to the courts to fight for her son, Michael, 10, still under the primary care of his father in Joplin.

Fighting the law

She could be helped by state Rep. Glenda Kelly, D-St. Joseph, who has launched a campaign to eliminate the relocation law. Kelly recently proposed House Bill 759, which would repeal the law.

The congresswoman said the bill is waiting to be scheduled for its initial committee hearing and hopes it's heard before the end of this year's congressional session in May.

Kelly said she sponsored the bill after hearing stories of what custodial parents were going through trying to relocate.

"There is not a burden of proof on the non-custodial parent to show it is not in the child's best interest to move," she said.

Kelly is aided by Jane Hicks of Pacific, Mo., the poster woman for the fight against SB 910. Hicks' story has been featured in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the Kansas City Star and Newsweek magazine.

After remarrying in 1997, Hicks, a flight attendant, tried to move her two children to her second husband's home outside Chester, Ill., 95 miles from Pacific and her ex-husband. Her ex-husband successfully petitioned a court to block the relocation, claiming it hindered his ability to develop relationships with his children.

That court order has left Hicks and her daughter, Alexandra, 15, and son, Andrew, 8, living at her elderly mother's home in Pacific on weekdays. Hicks said they can only visit her second husband on weekends.

"I've never lived full-time with my (new) husband," she said.

Whereas the basis for the law is understandable -- preventing the custodial parent from moving so far away that a relationship between the children and the non-custodial parent is unfeasible -- the execution is unrealistic, said Hicks.

"Once you get a divorce, it has to be realized: The family unit breaks up," she said.

SB 910 supported

But the relocation law is not without support.

Dianna Thompson, executive director of The American Coalition for Fathers and Children, a national paternal rights advocacy group, said the law seeks to safeguard a presence for both parents in their children's lives.

"We believe that children benefit from the ongoing emotional, physical, and financial support of both parents," she said. "A move-away situation is really devastating to the parent-child relationship."

Often when a custodial parent moves away, said Thompson, it is with the intent to interfere with their ex-spouse's relationship with the children. SB 910 recognizes that, she said. Custodial parents give up the freedom to do what they will when they accept custody.

"We have to make many sacrifices in the best interest of our children," Thompson said.

Dave Usher, legislative analyst for the St. Louis-based Eastern Missouri chapter of the coalition, said he suspects Kelly's bill won't find much support in the state legislature, even though he's keeping an eye on it.

"You'd have a better chance of legislating gravity out of existence," he said.

A poll of local legislators supported his claim.

Missouri Sen. Bill Foster, R-Poplar Bluff, said his initial opinion is that he will oppose any attempts to repeal a law that he sees as protecting fathers' rights.

"I don't have a problem with people moving a reasonable distance. But taking a child from, say, St. Louis to California, I think that's pushing the envelope," he said. "I think if you expect the father to make child support payments, you have to give that father consideration and not move that child 2,000 miles away."

State Rep. Patrick Naeger, R-Perryville, said he currently opposes the new bill. He said the existing law insures that the custodial parent "can't just take a child and run to the other side of the country and leave a burden and hardship on the other parent."

With HB 759 still in its infancy, divorcees like Long and Hicks are left trying to resolve their relocation disputes in the courts.

Hicks said she tells couples currently engaged in the divorce process to put in writing what distances are agreeable for relocation with the children. It could save legal fees in the years to follow.

"I tell them to put it in their divorce decree," she said. "You need a good lawyer, and you need to have it in writing that you are free to move with your children."