LEARNING ONE'S P'S & Q'S

Fourth-grader Shelbie Turner knows the importance of listening.

How else can you follow your teacher's instructions in class?

Turner says it is important to listen "so you know what you are doing."

She and her classmates in Helen Lindy's fourth-grade class at May Greene Elementary School received a lesson on listening last week from Esther Rehbein.

Rehbein teaches social skills in the classrooms and also works in her school office with students with discipline problems.

Students are expected to apologize to their teachers and classmates for bad behavior.

"They write out their own apologies and work on them orally," said Rehbein.

A sign in her office says, "A mistake is a chance to try harder."

It is a message that's at the heart of the school's emphasis on good behavior.

Rehbein isn't alone in addressing social skills. All of the teachers and staff tackle the task.

It's all part of the Boys Town Model, a method for teaching social skills patterned after Father Flanagan's Boys Town in Nebraska.

This is the third year for the program at May Greene. This school year it was expanded to three other elementary schools in the Cape Girardeau School District -- Washington, Franklin and Jefferson.

Teachers at those three elementary schools received training last summer at a cost of about $18,000. The training was funded with grant money from the state's Caring Communities initiative.

May Greene teachers previously went through the training.

Barbara Kohlfeld, principal at May Greene, said the Boys Town Model has helped reduce discipline problems at her school.

Discipline referrals declined by 40 percent in the 1997 to 1998 school year, the second year of the program.

"We try to think of it as behavior development," said Kohlfeld.

"The basic philosophy is that children want to make good choices, but they need help from us to show them the way," Kohlfeld said.

"It's so much fun. It makes the children happier and, best of all, it works," she said.

The program teaches 16 social skills, everything from how to follow instructions to how to accept "no" for an answer.

Kohlfeld said the time spent teaching social skills is well worth it.

"Teachers can teach and children can learn without time being taken away to deal with inappropriate behaviors," she said.

Kohlfeld said students who master the social skills do better in school.

But social skills are important even beyond the classroom. They are important in everyday life.

Kohlfeld said research shows that 89 percent of those who are fired from their jobs are terminated because of a lack of social skills.

Kohlfeld said she always tries to say something positive to students.

"We don't tell children to behave. We teach them how to behave. This is a learned skill just like reading and math," she said.

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Kohlfeld said the teachers and staff try to be good role models and encourage students to behave properly.

"We try to be positive and stress the goodness they all have," she said.

The students learn to take responsibility for their actions.

"We want the children to realize that, as we go through life, we make choices," said Kohlfeld.

"If you make good choices, good things will happen. If you make bad choices, there will be consequences," she said.

Students, who miss class time for disciplinary reasons, are given homework to catch up. The more class time they miss, the more homework they'll have.

So it's to students' advantage not to misbehave, Kohlfeld said.

This system works far better than lengthy in-school suspensions, which often only result in angrier students, she said.

Kohlfeld said social skills are practiced and reinforced at May Greene every school day.

One of those skills is giving compliments. "When I am giving morning messages, I try to compliment students," she said.

"If you look for good in people," said Kohlfeld, "you will always find it."

Boys Town Social Skills

* How to follow instructions

* How to accept criticism or a consequence

* How to accept "no" for an answer

* How to greet someone

* How to get the teacher's attention (asking permission)

* How to make a request