JEFFREY: A CHILD'S HOLOCAUST

I dashed briskly to the school, breaking into a run across the grassy, playing field. Walking through the parking lot, I paused momentarily outside Durocher's double front doors, in an effort to better collect my thoughts.

"Maybe it's the difference in school structure and pupil population that has spooked Jeff," I pondered. Elgin's Transitional Kindergarten, though a part of Gifford School, had been housed separately in an old, high-ceiling building-giving it the appearance of a one-room schoolhouse.

Sue's group had also been a "self-contained" classroom ... with handicapped student to teacher ratio mandated by Article 14 of the Illinois School Code, and the Illinois Rules and Regulations to Govern the Administration and Operation of Special Education.

But what constitutes HANDICAPPED? The Education For All Handicapped Children Act (Public Law 94-142) defines handicapped as follows:

"Mentally retarded, hard of hearing, deaf, speech-impaired, visually handicapped, seriously emotionally disturbed, orthopedically-impaired, health-impaired, children with specific learning disabilities"*

In Jeff's case, he was diagnosed "Multiply Handicapped" by Elgin's Transitional Kindergarten...

By Illinois Law, the number of handicapped pupils in the classroom is ascertained by their ages, seriousness of disorders, and extent of required services.

The Rules and Regulations to Govern the Administration and Operation of Special Education specify "Instructional programs which primarily serve children whose exceptional characteristics are either profound in degree or multiple in nature" to have "a maximum enrollment of five (5) students."*

Likewise, "Instructional programs which primarily serve children whose principle exceptional characteristics are severe visual, auditory, physical, speech or language impairments, or behavioral disorders shall have a maximum enrollment of eight (8) students."*

I wondered, as I stood motionless outside Durocher, what the student/teacher ratio was in Jeff's present class; and whether this school district even RECOGNIZED his presenting diagnosis ...

Nonetheless, I fully understood the implications of Mr. Greer's dialogue. I was aware The education For All

HAndicapped Children Act (P.L. 94-142) was a federal law requiring a "free, appropriate public education for all handicapped children in the United States."* To this end, vowed that Jeff and I would NOT leave the school without an educational committment of some kind. So mentally armed, I entered the building.

Introducing myself to the office registrar, I was readily escorted to the adjoining principal's office. Jeff, bearing a curious facial expression, sat complacently facing Mr. Greer.

The principal, stalwart in appearance, motioned me to an empty chair, void of introduction. He diligently shuffled papers on his desk, appearing unaware of our presence. It was a peculiar feeling--nature calling at that particular moment. In my haste to leave the house, I had inadvertently not made a potty stop. Intimidated by his continued paper arrangements, I speculated on what his reaction might be-if I were to suddenly lose my holding power!

Satisfied his correspondence was in order, Mr. Greer spoke obtrusively, as he peered through his dark-rimmed glasses. "Mrs. Nesbit, my teacher can't cope with Jeffrey. Your son is--to say the least--UNCONTROLLABLE in Mrs. Malone's class." "Uncontrollable?" I murmured, thinking of how many times this word had been used in conjunction with my son.

"Jeff is hostile to the rules of the classroom, and he's unable to work and relate according to its standards. He demands instant satisfaction of his immediate impulses and wishes, disregarding the consequences of his behavior." Mr. Greer spoke in a monotone, eyes cast on the papers before him as if reciting from a script.

"I couldn't agree with your observations more, Mr. Greer. But--what exactly is Jeff doing, and how is Mrs. Malone trying to correct him?" I prodded.

Mr. Greer folded his hands on the desk's edge. His explanation was obscure--"Mrs. Malone is an excellent teacher, highly versed in special education," he answered.

"Mr. Greer, permit me to rephrase my question: Are consequences being imposed to offset Jeff's unacceptable behaviors? You called me this morning, advising me to take Jeffrey out of your school. I deserve further explanation. I need to know WHY!"

Mr. Greer's face reddened. With arm outstretched, he sternly pointed to his office window. A roar followed, "Your son THREW A CHAIR into an EXPENSIVE window this morning!!"

"Jeff did ... what? But WHY, Mr. Greer? What sparked this kind of anger?" I was sweating--No, I was sweltering! Mr. Greer was not answering my question. My ears were ringing--I could see the floor moving ... Taking deep breaths, I would not permit myself to faint in THIS MAN'S office...

Totally aghast, I was barely able to speak above a whisper-"What did my boy do--or not do? What was the teacher's response, to evoke such anger in a young child? who is in control--Jeff, or his teacher?"

Another bellow--"GET HIM OUT OF MY SCHOOL!!"

Voice returning, I spoke faintly, disregarding his order. "I need to talk with Jeff's teacher. Perhaps she can better help me to understand. With all due respect to you and Mrs. Malone, her class might not be APPROPRIATE."

"You can't ... She must remain in her classroom..." Mr. Greer retorted. "She has OTHER students whom she is obligated to teach."

"And, Mr. Greer, might I remind you that Jeff is also ONE of her students," I replied with full voice, trying to match his witticism.

The phone rang, providing several moments of meticulous thought and reflection. Taking careful notice of Jeff, I saw a crazed, bewildered look on his face. Patting his knee I gave him a reassuring look, and spoke softly into his ear, "You must be brave... Sometimes mommies must be very angry... I love you..."

Phone call concluded, Mr. Greer resumed conversation. "You must understand, I'm afraid of LOSING my teacher. Mrs. Malone is literally going OUT OF HER MIND!"

"I most certainly can empathize with Mrs. Malone, as I have tried to teach Jeff--not for SEVERAL hours a day--but for the span of his six years. The way I see it, we both have a serious dilemma. YOU are obligated to provide Jeff with an education. YOU cannot exclude, or EVICT him, as you are attempting to do. And I, as Jeff's parent, am BREAKING the law if I allow my child to remain at home per your directive!"

That did it. I had pushed the wrong buttons--Mr. Greer's face reminded me of a computer monitor, flashing ABORT ... ABORT OPERATION!! He was now standing--then hastily walked to the door connecting the adjourning office. "Ladies, would you please escort Mrs. Nesbit and Jeffrey to the door."

The adrenalin flowed... Angrily, and without forethought I grabbed my son, standing him ATOP Mr. Greer's desk. In a rough, grating tone of voice, I stated slowly and with deliberation, "Mr. Greer, there are federal and state laws which MANDATE that you teach Jeff. If you believe your school cannot provide such services, then YOU'RE OBLIGATED to find suitable placement elsewhere. YOU are his home school, and I am paying your SALARY!"

Shaking convulsively, I ran head-on into the registrar. We both tottered... stumbled. "Excuse me," I spoke haltingly, as I exited the school in a flash, leaving Jeff standing motionless on top the principal's desk.

Viewing the outdoors in the light of the sun, I could feel its soothing warmth, easing my distress. "How gruesome--how hideous! See how you spoke... You abandoned your child!" I scolded. Checking myself, I resolved to keep walking.

"MRS. NESBIT--MRS. NEEESSBIT!" A man's voice was calling ... yelling in the distance.

Looking over my shoulder, Mr. Greer continued to shout my name, arms swinging and waving in a frantic, summoning gesture. "COME BAAACK ... PLEASE...WE MUST TALK!!"

I stood motionless, soaking in the sun's inviting rays, and let out a deep, long sigh. "I'm drained... but, the task must be done," I muttered. "Thank God, he's reconsidered-- Now maybe we can get something done."

Satisfied I was returning to the school, Mr. Greer hurried back inside. Slowly, cautiously, I re-entered the building, stopping unannounced at his office door.

Jeffrey was reseated in his previous chair--with legs now jiggling and joggling in a nervous fashion. Dodging all eye contact, Jeff felt a compelling need--with every third or fourth leg jerk--to kick the front of Mr. Greer's desk ... no matter the principal was seated at it!

In a gentle, polite manner I was asked--THIS TIME--to sit down. Seating myself beside Jeff, I directed him to cease his leg movements--AND HE OBEYED!!

As we spoke, Mr. Greer admitted to district responsibility, but nothing more. The actuality of Jeff's immediate educational future was remote--if not unknown. I would receive a referral to the District Psychologist, Dr. Diane Williams that day--but, it would be the ONLY committment received. Though my knowledge of educational laws for the handicapped was without depth, I viewed this referral as Jeff's lifeline to the educational system.

Returning home with Jeffrey was an extreme emotional setback. Realizing Dr. Williams was but the bottom crosspiece of Jeff's educational ladder, mingled with the suspicion that Mr. Greer's posture might be representative of other authoritative figures within the R-4 District, 1 determined to make inquiries regarding obtaining literature on educational law.

But how to do? How to accomplish such a task, when alloted time exists--but doesn't? How to care for Jeff, and manage a large family no longer emotionally intact, or whole? Thinking of Mrs. Malone, I identified with her plight. Yet, was society to reject Jeff, and destine his family to psychological ruin?

I had no choice ... I would make the time.

One hundred years ago, society may have outcasted a mentally ill child and its family, for lack of knowledge and available resources. If so, would not the outcasted child eventually become an adult vagabond? Would not this idle wanderer ultimately through disorderly conduct, demand society's intervention--not only to protect the individual from himself--but insure society's preservation as well?

By today's standards, to envision Jeff as a vagrant young man would be archaic and obsolete...

One hundred years of time ... with acquired learning ... and application... I would meet Dr. Williams on Sept. 29, 1975. She would epitomize a school district psychologist of TODAY. By virtue of her title, she should be knowledgeable not only in human development and behavior, but the educational system with its existing programs for the developmentally disabled

During this interval, I would "let my fingers do the walking-"and search for persons and organizations committed to safeguarding the rights of the handicapped. No matter the duration of this endeavor, my priority was to become knowledgeable. With that learning, Jeff and my family would become survivors ... Without it, we would face doom.

A month passed before Jeff was even permitted to ENTER a classroom--a month of unending phone contacts, with night's stillness replaced by the clapping sound of my typewriter. My role as Jeff's defender ... had begun. MANY MORE FULL MOONS would appear, before the truth became known:

--"No student may be suspended for behavior or condition due to his handicap.

--No child who has a handicap ... can be expelled unless he is a danger to himself, to others, or to school property.

--No student may be suspended longer than ten days. Suspensions must be reported immediately to the parents or guardians with a full statement explaining

reasons for the suspension, and parent's rights to a review.

--A student can be expelled only after his parents have been requested--by registered or certified mail--to appear at a board meeting hearing to discuss their child's behavior.

--When there is evidence that mental illness may be the cause for expulsion or suspension, the Department of Mental Health must be invited to participate in the review."*

Interestingly, Dr. Williams arranged to come to our home, in lieu of Jeffrey and I going to the school. Grateful for this consideration, but--discounting the gesture as "They just don't want my boy in that school--" I awaited her arrival with mixed feelings.

She's a heavy-set, but kind-faced woman close in age to myself," I thought, as I escorted her into our kitchen

"My, and what have we here?" Dr. Williams asked. Her eyes twinkled as she walked across the floor... strewn with Hot Wheels' racetrack and cars.

Mark was busily engaged in road-building; whereas Jeff, unbeknownst to Mark, depicted a subtle demolition crew-laying waste to Mark's efforts at construction. The boys, intent with their labors, disregarded this stranger.

Amie, on the other hand, as an enthusiastic 2-year old, smiled ear-to-ear before returning to her clutter of toys.

I hastily served our guest a cup of freshly-brewed coffee, as she seated herself at the kitchen table.

"Would you like cream or sugar--or perhaps your preference is tea?" I asked kindly.

"Coffee is just fine, Mrs. Nesbit, and I do like black."

"Dr. Williams, I must apologize for my rashness with Mr. Greer. I responded to a man who disregarded the needs of my son in order to satisfy his own feelings of inadequacy."

Eliciting no response, I declared, "And I would treat him in the same fashion if he were to be unprofessional in the future."

"I have known Eldon Greer to be adversarial in certain circumstances," Dr. Williams confided. "But, he is also a fine principal and educator. Still, I can certainly empathize with you as Jeffrey's parent."

And so it was ... A question and answer session ensued, with history-taking and explanation of special education services, as they existed in Chalmers Grove R-4 Schools.

Dr. Williams leaned heavily on the assertion that Jeff's needs might better be met through SEDOL, a co-operative agency contracted by R-4, which provided extensive and comprehensive special education services in the northeast and central areas of St. Peter County. She shared that the Special Education District of St. Peter County was created and named in response to the mandated need for public school special education districts to take over the educational needs of developmentally disabled children.

Dr. Williams clarified that further observation of Jeffrey would be required by R-4, with evaluation and conference scheduled at the completion of this supervised period. In the interim, Dr. Williams would make the initial referral to SEDOL.

"How will this evaluation of Jeffrey take place?" I asked.

"That's a little easier said than done," Dr. Williams confessed. "It's my feeling that Jeff should be evaluated in Mrs. Malone' lower primary Learning Development Program at Durocher--until SEDOL finds suitable placement."

"I think we have a problem. Mr. Greer is adamantly opposed to Jeffrey's attendance at his school!" I stammered.

"Nonetheless, Eldon Greer is going to be compelled to

accept my recommendation. I'll go speak with Eldon, and you'll be recontacted-either by myself ... or by him."

Notwithstanding the fact that this district harbored a Dr. Williams AND Mr. Greer, her knowledge and perceptions evinced an explicite professionalism, and underlying concern for the Jeffreys in this world. I felt strangely distant, yet extraordinarily close to this woman.

As time unfolded, I was to learn that Dr. Williams' principles clashed distinctively with Chalmers Grove R-4's, though she maintained employment with them. Our goals for Jeff would be coexistent, though we remained on opposite sides of the fence.

Barrington #220 would rightfully earn its reputation as enemy ... district hostile to a cause. Destiny would place Diane and I in opposing corners of upcoming staffings and a due process hearing. Diane would emerge as covert advocate; and without ever discussing this truism, she would uphold the educational ideals and beliefs ... for a child.

Two weeks would come to pass, before my scheduled meeting with Mr. Greer and Mrs. Malone. In that interval, Mr. Greer and I were to connect in a not-so-nice fashion...

It was one of those splendid days that all parents of

first graders experience and treasure for years after the children are grown--a nature performance by Mike's class, complete with the sun, the rain, the sunflowers, and the "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" song.

Entering the gymnasium that afternoon with Jeff, Mark, and Amie, it was difficult to even discern the makeshift stage area-so great was the number of lower grade classes and families in attendance! Rows upon rows of folding chairs had been set up, but the overflow of people made it necessary for most to watch the performance... from huddled floor positions. I waved at Linette, seated with her class, and then the four of us gleefully nestled into position.

Mike was one of the gigantic sunflowers--a sea of brown and yellow the size of an opened umbrella. Kelly-green leafy blades stretched downward, remindful of a grassy hula skirt. Only his gangling legs and shoes revealed his little-boy identity.

The sun arrived ... then the rain... followed by the spider. The children broke into melodious and rhythmical song--but it became intermingled with a peculiar phraseology

"The itsy-bitsy spider-went up the water spout... 'F*** you.' Down came the rain and-washed the spider out...

F*** YOU!' Out came the sun--to dry up all the rain F*** YOU!!'"

Jeff's blatant blaring had resonated, and become known. As my efforts to quiet him were unsuccessful, Mr. Greer charged... stumbling and bumbling over a packed community, in an effort to reach us!

"My God," I thought, "He's coming with a vengeance. I was humiliated--mortified beyond belief--as Mr. Greer hustled us out of HIS gym ... and HIS school.

That night, I sobbed uncontrollably, pouring my heart out to Roy. He listened quietly, digesting the information shared.

"I am so angry and appalled! Do you real ize, Roy, that we have become so acclimated to Jeff's behaviors ... that we are no longer SHOCKED by them?" I continued to ramble-"Jeff KNEW his antics were objectionable AT THAT SCHOOL... Should I have spanked the tar out of him--in front of everyone?"

"That would have only made the situation more uncomfortable for all concerned. Far better to have removed him like a time-out" my husband responded.

I paused, reflecting his statement. "But is it fair

that Mark and Amie were deprived of this performance? And what about Mike? He deserved to have his family there! it seems to me that Jeff is controlling OUR lives, instead of us commanding HIS!"

Roy, with eyes downcast, appeared physically and mentally tormented. "Get him into school, Noreen. I don't care HOW you do it, but you MUST get him into school."

Three meetings would come to pass, before my husband's wishes were realized, and appropriate placement begun.

The first meeting involved Mr. Greer, Mrs. Malone, and myself. A HALF-DAY placement in Mrs. Malone, class would BEGIN on Oct. 15, pending the AVAILABILITY of full time placement through SEDOL.

My second meeting occurred ONLY with Mr. Greer on Nov.12. Advised an addendum recommendation to the first meeting was necessary, a full time placement on a one month trial basis would START Nov. 17, to allow for further observation.

The FIRST muldisciplinary staffing for Jeff followed on Dec. 8, 1975. The deliberation included Mr. Greer, Dr. Williams, Mrs. Malone, and this mother. I met the infallible and impeccable Helen Ullrich, Supervisor of SEDOL's southwest

region. The grossly negligent, incompetent Rhoda Diamond, Director of Barrington's Special Education Department, was not present.

The recommendation cited Jeffrey's placement within SEDOL's Learning Opportunities Program, or LOP class. Physical and occupational therapies would be further investigated, and other supportive services--including speech therapy and social services-provided as necessary.

Our wishes for Jeff would come to pass on December 15 of that year. With almost a full school semester lost, Jeff was to BEGIN his school year in the first grade. Unbeknownst to Roy and myself, we had fallen into A BLACK HOLE ... We were both damned and doomed.