Jackson woman navigates COVID losses this holiday

The loss of a mom is always painful, especially on the first Mother's Day following her passing.

Jackson's Cori Wray is carrying an even heavier weight this holiday weekend.

Wray lost both her mother and her paternal grandmother in less than a week's time in December, as both women succumbed to COVID-19.

Her grandmother, Marie Bollinger, passed Dec. 12 at age 97.

Her mother, Terry Bollinger, followed five days later, passing away Dec. 17 at age 67.

"We had Granny's (funeral) service and then one day later, after the doctor said there was nothing more they could do, we took Mom off the ventilator and she died," said Wray, describing the dizzying turn of events just before Christmas.

"It's hard to understand why and we had to get through it," she added.

Wray, 44, an account manager with Cape Girardeau's Creative Edge company, credits her faith for the buoyancy to endure.

"I have no idea how anybody could get through something like this without faith in God," she said, acknowledging she has dealt with real anger.

"My anger is more for my dad (because) he lost his brother last month and I've wondered, 'Why is Dad going through this?'"

Wray, a 1994 Jackson High School graduate, said a verse from the Psalms has been claimed by the family as their own in the wake of these twin shocks.

"I have a coffee cup with the words, 'Be still and know that I am God,'" she said, a quote from Psalm 46:10.

COVID's cruelty

Wray said the understandable coronavirus protocols, meant for everyone's safety, made a difficult situation even worse.

"Granny was a resident of Life Care Center, and we could only see her through a glass window," she said. "When Mom was in the hospital, we couldn't be with her due to COVID, so we called every morning and evening and posted updates on Facebook."

"We all go through things, hard things, and we need to sit with God and listen -- and in those moments, we can grow and heal," she said. "Our daughter is graduating from high school and just went to her last prom, and it does make me angry Mom was not here to witness it. I don't fit in that anger because it's not healthy, not good."

Advice

Wray said her counsel to similarly bereaved people is to be authentic.

"I don't try to hide what I'm feeling; if I'm sad, if I start crying, I just ask others to forgive me," she said. "Take a day to feel and not be afraid of what you're feeling, then put one foot in front of the other because life moves on," Wray opined.

Mother's Day 2021

"My sister Kiley and I have talked about this, and Mom would not be OK with us not marking the day," said Wray, who added the plan is to gather at their father's home Sunday. "We'll love on each other, play games, and probably go to her gravesite in the Russell Heights Cemetery."

Wray added she is happy her sister is moving back to Jackson with her family at the end of this month.

"I know Granny and Mom are together, that there is no more pain, and while I don't know what it is yet, there is a purpose for everything in life that we go through," Wray concluded.