HELP IS AVAILABLE FOR SEXUAL ADDICTS

Talk of being addicted to sex may bring titters of embarrassed laughter from many, but it's actually a serious problem recognized by mental health professionals.

"Sexual addiction is a legitimate addiction," said psychotherapist Jeff Johnston of Associated Counseling Services. "Sexual addiction substitutes unhealthy relationships for a healthy one."

Johnston said the problem is probably widespread, though there are no exact figures on the extent of the problem. He said the problem is growing along with the increasing availability of pornography in magazines and over the Internet and the proliferation of sexuality and talk of sex in advertising, on television and in films.

"People emotionally vulnerable and not equipped with coping skills may resort to sexual behavior to help them cope," Johnston said.

A chapter of Sexaholics Anonymous, an international 12-step group for recovery from sexual compulsive thinking and behavior has been started in Cape Girardeau.

It is based on the 12-step Alcoholic Anonymous program, which has been successful in helping alcoholics recover from alcohol addiction, Johnston said. The program has been altered to deal with drugs in Narcotics Anonymous, eating behaviors in Overeaters Anonymous and now sex addition.

"These 12-step programs are the treatment of choice for addictive behavior," Johnston said.

A spokesman for the Sexaholics Anonymous chapter in Cape Girardeau, who asked to remain anonymous in accordance with the nature of the group, said three to five people usually attend the weekly Saturday morning meetings, which began about four months ago.

"A lot of people are struggling with this," he said. "But many people don't want to talk about it and are afraid to admit it."

Like alcoholics, the thinking of sex addicts becomes distorted and they live in a world of denial, Johnston said.

He said their behavior usually goes in cycles. First preoccupation with thoughts of sex to the point it interferes with the person's daily functioning; then ritualization, going through certain routines leading up to sexual behavior; then compulsion leading to the sex act; then despair, a feeling of hopelessness at being unable to stop the behavior; then coping with the despair by starting the cycle over.

Johnston said this cycle generally continues until something forces the addict to deal with the problem, such as being caught in a sexual encounter by a spouse or being caught peeking in windows.

"Such things force the person to acknowledge what's going on and the need for getting treatment," Johnston said.

That treatment, like the treatment for any addiction, usually includes counseling to deal with emotional issues, build coping skills and manage anger and enrollment in a 12-step program.

"The group format is a therapeutic component," Johnston said. "The stronger members help the newcomers. Newcomers learn from those in recovery."

According to its spokesperson, the local Sexaholics Anonymous meetings begin with a serenity prayer and the reading of the 12 steps, which include admitting being powerless over lust, admitting to God and oneself the exact nature of wrongs committed, search through prayer for improvement and making amends to those wronged.

There are readings from the Sexaholics Anonymous manual, which includes information on the addiction process, how the 12 steps can help and testimonials from those in recovery.

Then those attending talk about their own stories and struggles and successes and pledge to be available to support each other during the week. The meeting ends with the Lord's Prayer.

Those interested in the program can call 264-0095. Callers are questioned to weed out the merely curious and those who might prey on those with sexual addictions.

Sexaholic quiz

Following is a self-test from Sexaholics Anonymous. You may have problems if you answer yes to most of these questions on a continuing basis:

Have you ever thought you needed help for your sexual thinking or behavior?

That you'd be better off if you didn't keep giving in?

That sex or stimuli are controlling you?

Have you ever tried to stop or limit doing what you felt was wrong about your sexual behavior?

Do you resort to sex to escape, relieve anxiety or because you can't cope?

Do you feel guilt, remorse or depression afterward?

Has your pursuit of sex become more compulsive?

Does it interfere with relations with your spouse?

Do you have to resort to images or memories during sex?

Does an irresistible impulse arise when another party makes overtures or sex is offered?

Do you keep going from one relationship or lover to another?

Do you feel the "right relationship" would help you stop lusting, masturbating or being so promiscuous?

Do you have a destructive need -- a desperate sexual or emotional need -- for someone?

Does pursuit of sex make you careless for yourself or the welfare of your family or others?

Has your effectiveness or concentration decreased as sex has become more compulsive?

Do you lose time from work for it?

Do you turn to a lower environment when pursuing sex?

Do you want to get away from the sex partner as soon as possible after the act?

Although your spouse is sexually compatible, do you still masturbate or have sex with others?

Have you ever been arrested for a sex-related offense?