GOOD KIDS: AREA, NATIONAL STUDENTS SPEAK OUT ON THE TEEN GENERATION

Local teen-agers say their parents aren't overly strict, understand the pressures on teens today and are doing a good job raising them, according to a survey conducted by USA Weekend magazine.

More than 84,000 teen-agers responded to the national survey on teens and parents sponsored by the magazine. The survey results, released in today's insert in the Southeast Missourian, gave parents passing grades for their skills.

More than half the respondents -- 55 percent -- gave their parents an A on their skills. Local students said they would probably give their parents a B average. Thirty-one respondents from Scott City, Jackson, Cape Girardeau, Leopold and Advance, Mo., returned the surveys.

But the grade area students would give a parent depends on their mood that particular day. "It fluctuates, and depends on how much I like them," said Mandie Foltz, who attends Jackson Junior High School.

The teens admit that being parents might be tough. "It's probably pretty hard because I can be pretty difficult," said Stephanie Shipman, 13, of Jackson.

And the students admit that they don't often tell their parents when they are doing a good job. Nor do most parents or teachers tell the good students they're doing OK.

Teachers know all the bad students but you don't always hear about kids who are fine, said Carol Gordon.

Adults tend to stereotype too often, and sometimes kids get labeled, said Foltz.

According to the poll, local teens aren't in any crisis mode. They are involved in school and civic activities, talk to their parents, and even eat dinner with their families.

But how much children are involved in school and civic activities or volunteer often depends on what their parents are doing. Most of the students said their families eat dinner together and their parents know their schedules.

But the kids don't feel pressured by their parents to take lessons or be active. They join hockey leagues, take dance lessons or play on sports teams because they want to.

Hunter Givens, 12, said he'd like a few more opportunities to do things with his friends, without parental involvement. He also said his parents are good at encouraging him and his siblings to be involved in activities. Hunter is in a hockey league and his sister, Casey, is a member of the swim team.

"Most civic leaders that I know were swerved into that role and it's not something that they sought," said dad Mike Givens.

And parents are learning to let their children expand the boundaries. "It's been a hazy transition because I trust her," Gordon said of her daughter. "She knows what the boundaries are and hasn't tested them."

And parents are willing to give their children a little more freedom as they get older. But sometimes it's just not enough -- not yet.

Piercings, tattoos and questionable fashion judgment are just part of learning to be an individual. But not every teen-age girl is dying to dress like Britney Spears.

"I just wear what I like," said Casey Givens, 14, of Cape Girardeau. "I dress the way I want to dress."

Laying down the ground rules is an essential part of parenting, said Debbie Lasky. Parents can't expect their children to behave when they hit the teen-age years if they've never been expected to follow guidelines before. "If you have good kids it's not a problem," she said.