God saved relationship with wife, children, Andy Benes says

Until he placed his trust in God, former professional baseball pitcher Andy Benes said he wasn't a good father or husband, but it took him a while to realize it.

Benes was the first pick in the 1988 Major League Baseball draft and won an Olympic gold medal the same year. The Evansville, Indiana, native, who finished his career after 2002 with a 155-139 record in 14 seasons, was named to the All-Star Team once and finished in the top 10 twice in the Cy Young Award voting for the National League's best pitcher.

But although he enjoyed fame and popularity in St. Louis, his home life was a different story, especially after his career was over. He struggled with alcohol and gambling and had a troubled relationship with his wife, Jennifer, and their children. The way forward was building a relationship with God, he said.

Benes gave his testimony Sunday at St. Andrew Lutheran Church before about 200 people as part of the annual Celebrate Recovery picnic.

Benes grew up in Evansville and attended Lutheran grade school. He said he learned his Bible verses, but it was all in his head and not his heart. With all the success he had early on, he figured out that if he performed well, he would be praised.

"I kind of became addicted to that affirmation," Benes said. He later noted he had an addictive personality.

When he first joined the Cardinals in 1996, Benes said it was the most "amazing thing." He did a lot of community events and had a hard time turning down any opportunity.

His wife told him she and his children seemed to be the only people he could say "no" to. A light bulb should have gone off for him at the time, but it didn't, Benes said.

"I was in a sorry state. I was a ... celebrity, but I didn't have a relationship with my wife and kids," Benes said. He added his wife told him he was never around, and when he was, he didn't pay attention to his family.

A couple of years after his career was over, his wife told him that if all the people in St. Louis thought he was so great, he could go live with them. He went to stay with his parents. After attending a game his daughters had played in, everyone scattered to go get something to eat, or go home.

Benes said he had nowhere to go. He sat in his car in the rain and he started sobbing and crying out to God.

"I finally started to talk to God about who I was. He showed up that night and I just prayed for grace and mercy," which Benes said God poured out on him.

The experience gave him hope that things would get better. Since then, he said, his marriage has been restored.

The Beneses have six children, four biological children and two the couple adopted from Russia. They also are a licensed foster family.

He said his faith also has changed his disposition and he wouldn't have been able to right himself without the Lord.

"God really got ahold of me and changed my heart and that was kind of how my conversion started," Benes said in an interview before his testimony.

"I've gone from being more selfish to hopefully being more selfless," he said in his presentation. " ... God's made me a champion for Christ."

The church has offered the Celebrate Recovery program for six years, and offers men's and women's groups. The worldwide 12-step program is more than 20 years old and is available for anyone with a hurt, habit or hang-up.

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