GET A GRIP ON HOLIDAY STRESS; LEARN TO DEFEAT IT BEFORE IT DEFEATS YOU

The key to a successful holiday isn't the abundance of gifts, food and holiday invitations but the simplicity of the celebration.

Holidays are often stressful -- flooded with shopping, family gatherings, parties, and added expenses -- but they don't have to be, area health care professionals say.

The key to minimizing stress during the busy season of holiday parties and celebrations is to plan for the unexpected and take responsibility for emotions and reactions, said Debbie Leoni, a nurse and fitness and wellness manager for Southeast Missouri Hospital.

First, minimize expectations for the holidays, she said.

Not everyone will have a perfectly set table, perfect meal and perfect holiday. "We go into it thinking it will all be perfect and that's not real.

"There are a few people who can pull that off, but that's what they focus on and decide their priority is a perfect house over a wonderful time with family and friends."

Putting the holiday traditions on a priority list also helps, said Claire Lafoon Watson, director of education at the Community Counseling Center.

"You prioritize which are most important and put your energy into that," she said. "For some it may be decorating, others like buying gifts and wrapping."

When people seek only perfection they end up overspending and getting tired. "That's when it all falls apart," Leoni said.

Stress isn't just a hassle, but it can be harmful to your health. It increases risk of heart disease, particularly for those who don't exercise regularly. It also raises blood pressure and heart rate, Leoni said.

To avoid stress and the health problems it can cause, learn to focus on priorities for the holiday. "Sometimes you've filled your life with so many more commitments and they take priority over why you are doing them," Leoni said.

"Give yourself some freedom to say 'I can enjoy this,'" she said.

The greatest holiday memories often aren't made at parties or family gatherings, Leoni said, but rather things like walks in the brisk air, a pick-up basketball game or a casual drive through the city to see holiday lights.

"That's what they'll remember more than grandma made a turkey," she said.

External pressures to make the holidays a memorable time are very real. "It's all seductive," Lafoon Watson said. "In some sense, it's OK to strive for and get ideas and have goals, but be realistic."

Lafoon Watson said she enjoys seeing Christmas trees trimmed at area department stores, and would like for hers to look that beautiful.

"But I asked and it takes 13 hours to do that tree," she said. "If you know what goes into it and that they work on it full-time, it's a little different."

Holiday shopping can also add stress with the rush to find gifts, purchase them and wrap them. But if you learn "only you can control your own behavior and not someone else's," things aren't as bad, Leoni said.

"When you go shopping Friday, don't expect to get in and out. When you go in expect lines, and then your reaction is 100 percent under your control."

It's also wise to focus on taking responsibility for their behavior. "When you lose it because you were so frustrated, realize that nobody else can change your behavior."

To combat the stresses of shopping, Leoni's family plans a trip to the mall where they spend no money. That plan to shop without money works, she said.

"We take maybe enough money for a cookie and soda. It's fun because we don't worry about what stuff costs -- we don't have any money.

Enjoy this time because it's going to go."

HOW TO HANDLE HOLIDAY STRESS

Before you reach the point of frustration during the holiday season, here are some tips to cut stress:

* Readjust your expectations. Expect crowds at the stores, which mean longer lines and waits.

* Delegate tasks so one person isn't doing all the shopping, cooking or chores. Let family members choose the tasks they will be responsible for.

* Make a list of chores and responsibilities.

* Get plenty of sleep.

* Adhere to a healthy diet.

* Limit your intake of caffeine, nicotine and alcohol.

* Try to make time for relaxation. Continue stress-reducing activities as you would the rest of the year.