Flipping the bird

Even more than a decade later, Laura Kremp is still a little shocked at the gesture her mom made when a man driving a big, ol' Cadillac cut them off in a mall parking lot. "She flipped the guy the bird!" Kremp says, laughing at the childhood memory.

Flashing the middle finger was the ultimate insult when Kremp was growing up, or at least -- with its vulgar, sexual connotation -- a very naughty thing to do.

These days, "the bird" is flying everywhere -- and, in many instances, losing its taboo status, especially among the younger set.

Celebrities use it. Star athletes all but flaunt it. Even small children occasionally raise a grumpy middle finger in a world where Ozzie and Harriet have been replaced by Ozzy and Sharon, the foul-mouthed, bird-flipping parents from the MTV reality show, "The Osbournes."

Some say the finger's prevalence is a sign of just how desensitized we've all become to our own crassness.

'Make my day'

"It's just another example of the drift further and further into the culture of disrespect," says David Walsh, president of the National Institute on Media and the Family, a Minneapolis-based nonprofit that monitors popular media. "It's part of the shift from 'Have a nice day' to 'Make my day.'"

Others, however, wish we'd all just loosen up. The middle finger doesn't always carry the same meaning to everyone, they say.

Kremp -- now 24 and a creative director at a communications training firm in suburban Philadelphia -- still could never imagine her mother becoming a regular bird-flipper, for example.

But she sees plenty of other people using it, to express displeasure at anything from a frozen computer screen to a referee's questionable call or that driver who's riding your tail on the highway.

And, she says, its meaning isn't always negative: "It can be done out of excitement, joy -- or if you finally found the perfect pair of shoes to go with a new outfit."

Often, the middle finger is used among friends, either to tease or express mild annoyance, says Matt Meyers, a 23-year-old New Yorker who works as an administrative assistant at a bank.

To him, it's "more general symbol of, 'Shut up' or 'You're an idiot.'"

Matt Patterson, a Los Angeles writer who co-authored the tongue-in-cheek book "The Finger: A Comprehensive Guide to Flipping Off," agrees that today's middle finger has many nuances.

But context still matters, he says, noting that "a finger given in anger is another story" -- particularly for celebrities.

That means actress Cameron Diaz might get away with posing, middle finger extended, for an Esquire magazine photo, as she did last year.

But singer Britney Spears found herself apologizing to Mexican fans last summer after they thought she flipped them off. (Spears says the gesture was intended only for aggressive paparazzi who were hounding her for photographs.)

New York Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey was fined $10,000 after he threw ice and gave the finger to fans in San Francisco during a playoff game.

And late last month, Indiana Pacers forward Ron Artest gave the Miami crowd both barrels as he backed away from the foul line after hitting a free throw. He was suspended for four games.

The lesson here: Don't flip off the fans.

"It's the idea that 'I'm paying to watch you, how dare you do that to me!'" says Bill Savage, a lecturer in Northwestern University's English department whose expertise includes popular culture.

Since fans are the ones paying the bills, "there will always be some crackdown from the power structure," he says.

Outside of sports, however, Savage says networks' habit of beeping out foul language and blurring middle fingers -- including on "The Osbournes" -- is mostly for show.

"There's an aspect of American culture that's about appearances, rather than reality," he says. "If you beep something, you appear as though you're being a moral guardian."

Still, even some parents wonder if critics are taking the gesture -- one that historians say has been around since ancient Greek times -- a bit too seriously.

Simon Bloomberg, a newspaper columnist in Nelson, New Zealand, recently wrote about his 6-year-old son giving the finger to another boy who'd stuck his tongue out in a supermarket parking lot.

When asked about it, Bloomberg said he wasn't worried.

"The kid who poked out his tongue at my son was just delivering the kiddies version of the finger anyway," Bloomberg said in an e-mail interview. "So he probably deserved to get the real McCoy fired back at him."

In the end, even some people who use the bird a lot hope it stays rude and crude.

That includes The Amazing Johnathan, a comedian who regularly flips off his audiences. Earlier this month, he hosted a media event at a Las Vegas hotel -- complete with a giant middle-finger ice sculpture. He seemed pleased that its presence made hotel officials squirm a little.

"Whenever people get used to it," he says, "then it won't be fun to do anymore."