Elroy Kinder: Preserving, sharing history was his life

Elroy Kinder was a man passionate about the past and focused on preserving it for the future.

A father, husband, teacher, veteran and historian, Kinder died Dec. 30, 2022, a few weeks before his 89th birthday. His friends, family and those interested in the local history of Southeast Missouri will be able to experience his legacy for years to come.

"Dad wanted to honor the lives of those that came before us," his daughter, Jill Haman, said.

One of Kinder's many passion was keeping track of the family genealogy. He gave a copy of that to his nephew, Jeffrey Massey, as a wedding present. It was a printed book complete with photos, letters and family histories spanning hundreds of years.

"He was a wonderful uncle and a generous uncle, and we are forever grateful for that gift, a real labor of love," Massey said.

Elroy Kinder and his wife, Mary Susan, on their wedding day in 1962. The pair were married for more than 50 years until Mary Susan's death in 2014.Submitted

Elroy Kinder and his wife, Mary Susan, on their wedding day in 1962. The pair were married for more than 50 years until Mary Susan's death in 2014.Submitted

Ric Kight, Kinder's nephew, lost his mother, Arlene, when she was just 57. Kinder would often share with Kight stories of his mother. Kight said Kinder's passing will now mean stories from his mother's early life will remain incomplete.

"Elroy had a unique appreciation for the importance of history," Kight said. "Perhaps a lesson to all of us from the grave."

Kinder's work with local history extended beyond his relatives to much of Southeast Missouri. He served on Cape Girardeau Historic Preservation Commission in the 1990s. He wrote several histories on local churches and cemeteries. He was instrumental in preservation efforts at Shady Grove Cemetery -- a Black cemetery established after the Civil War that was recently put on the National Register of Historic Places -- just south of Cape Girardeau.

Teacher

Kinder's fervor for teaching also extended beyond his family. He taught science for many decades at schools in Sikeston, Missouri, and later Cape Girardeau.

Elroy Kinder at Cape Girardeau County Historical Society. Director Carla Jordan estimated Kinder contributed around one-fifth of the society's important collections.Submitted

Elroy Kinder at Cape Girardeau County Historical Society. Director Carla Jordan estimated Kinder contributed around one-fifth of the society's important collections.Submitted

Greg Waddle was a student of Kinder's in the early 1980s at L.J. Schultz Middle School in Cape Girardeau. Waddle said Kinder was a teacher who truly loved the subject he was teaching. He used practical experiences in class to get the students more involved. Waddle said Kinder's care inspired him to pursue a lifelong hobby of collecting.

Kinder was a gentle man of dedication, perseverance and preservation, his friends and family said. He loved life and lived it to the fullest, his daughter, Kathy Kinder, said.

Kight agreed.

"His voice was soft-spoken, and I cannot even remember a time when he raised his voice to make a point," Kight said. "That gentleness commanded respect, and if you chose to dispute him, you immediately knew that if you had said something incorrect, his correction would be soft and measured."

He was a dedicated and loving husband. Kinder met the love of his life, Mary Susan Sciortino, in 1961, while he was working in St. Louis. The pair would get married a little more than a year later.

"He would recall often, even after her death in 2014, the details that led up to how they met," Haman said.

She and her three siblings never questioned their parents' love for each other, she added.

He was dedicated to "The Church." Not just a building, but his Christian faith as a whole. Everything he did revolved around his love for God, Massey said.

"A man that loved his family, a man that loved God, a man that loved this nation," pastor Zack Strong said of Kinder.

Haman said meeting Strong -- who is the pastor of Christ Church in Cape Girardeau -- was the best thing that happened to her father in the last two years of his life.

At the time, Kinder was in the midst of a battle against dementia, one he was slowly losing.

"Sadly as his dementia progressed, Dad lost the ability to think critically, to recall so much that he had known so well and make conversation," Haman said. "Through a series of steps, Pastor Zack began ministering to Dad. And there was an almost instant connection where Dad felt heard by someone who had never heard his stories before, and Dad loved sharing history and stories with new people."

Haman said Strong gave her father an outlet to freely tell his stories, even if he was repeating them because the disease attacked his memory.

Her father's time telling stories to Strong demonstrated his genuineness and desire to share his knowledge, Strong said. Those desires never lost strength even through the dementia, Haman added.

Historic work

Carla Jordan, the director of the Cape Girardeau County Historical Society, concurred. She said Kinder began working with the historical society around eight years ago. In total, she estimated he contributed around one-fifth of their current important collections. He was a crucial part of the creation of the history center and research annex.

"He added rocket fuel to our dream of having a stellar world-class research library," Jordan said.

Despite his age and condition, Kinder was determined to go into the field and do preservation work himself.

"A lot of things that we have are because Elroy saved them. He dug them out of burn piles. He dug them out of trash piles," Jordan added.

Jordan called Kinder a "historian's historian." He worked to pass down local history because he truly felt it's what was right and important, she said.

"Somebody with dementia can still contribute tremendously, because he could," Jordan said.

The last time Jordan saw Kinder, shortly before his death, he forgot her name. He had told her earlier that he was afraid of what would happen when he couldn't remember her name.

"Will you still love me when I don't remember your name?" Kinder had said to Jordan.

When he looked at her, Jordan said it was clear that he knew who she was, but just couldn't remember her name.

"And so I just looked him in the face and said, 'I still love you,'" she said. "He smiled."

Kinder will be honored by the historical society with a yearlong exhibit that opens March 15.