DONOR AWARENESS: THANKING THOSE LEFT BEHIND

It's difficult for Cindy Kennedy to think of her late husband's heart still beating in someone else's body.

But the Cape Girardeau woman finds solace in the fact that the donation of the heart after her husband, Robert, died Feb. 27 after a motorcycle accident was his final act of generosity.

"Bobby would let our stuff go at home, then break his neck helping someone else," Cindy Kennedy said. "This was the last way for him to help someone out."

Kennedy and her children will be among the donor families honored at the 13th annual Organ and Tissue Donor Awareness Ceremony that will be held at 6 p.m. Thursday at Westfield Shoppingtown West Park.

Organ transplant recipients and their families will give gold pins to donor families in recognition of what they gave, said Jacque Patrick with Mid-America Transplant Services, which is sponsoring the event.

"Someone has to give up a life to give an organ donation," Patrick said. "The family members who are left behind never forget their loved ones gave their lives, and we went them to know that Mid-America Transplants and the people of southeast Missouri will never forget the gifts that came from those deaths."

Donating organs was not an easy decision for the Kennedy family. Robert Kennedy had just gotten a new driver's license and had not signed the organ donor card on the back. Neither had he and his wife ever discussed organ donation.

But it is a federal law that the family members of everyone who dies in a hospital are given the opportunity to donate the deceased's organs or tissues, Patrick said.

"It makes the decision much easier on the family if people have shared their wishes about organ donation," Patrick said.

As the Kennedy family was discussing the decision, it came up that in a conversation with his daughter and his best friend, Robert Kennedy had said he would donate his organs if he could.

"I knew that Bobby always liked to help people and knowing about that conversation make the decision easier," Cindy Kennedy said.

Still the Kennedy family didn't feel comfortable donating things like bone and skin, Cindy Kennedy said. They settled on donating Robert's heart, which went to a man in Cleveland, Ohio, and his one good eye, which went to a local person, Patrick said.

"I knew for sure that Bobby would want someone to have his good eye," Cindy Kennedy said, explaining that her husband had lost the sight in the other eye years earlier. "He always had a fear of being blinded and I knew he wouldn't want anyone else to be blind."

As for decision about the heart, Cindy said Robert's heart stopped at the scene of the accident and he'd been resuscitated by emergency personnel.

"They got his heart going again and he lived for another day and a half that I got to spend with him. I knew that happened for a reason. I felt this was his gift to someone else for me getting to spend that extra time with him," Cindy Kennedy said.

The Lossing family of Cape Girardeau was on the receiving end of such a gift about four years ago when Kevin Lossing, now an 11th-grader at Cape Central High School, received a heart transplant.

On June 20, 1996, Kevin received the heart of an 8-year-old boy from Kansas. And every year on the anniversary of his transplant, he writes a letter to the boy's parents letting them know how much he still appreciates that they agreed to the donation.

"I feel it's important to write to them because of what they lost," said Kevin, who has muscular dystrophy. The muscular dystrophy attacked his heart muscle, causing it to become enlarged and to stop functioning properly. The transplanted heart, because it doesn't have that MD gene, is safe from the muscular dystrophy, said Kevin's father, Gary Lossing.

Kevin's first letter to the family, sent a few weeks after the transplant, summed up his and his family's feelings:

"I am so thankful to be able to have a second chance. Your donation is gratefully appreciated by me. You are so caring to donate your child's heart to someone you don't even know. I turned 13 while waiting in the hospital. I'd like you to know that the heart went to a Christian. I will give this heart my very best love and care."

"We wanted that family to know that their child lived on in a certain sense," said Gary Lossing. "We wanted them to feel their child didn't die in vain, and especially to know that the person who received their son's heart was a good Christian and how grateful we were."

The Lossings feel grateful that their son was able to receive a heart since so many people who need transplants die while waiting for one, said Kevin's mother Yvonne. The experience with Kevin prompted the family to become involved in efforts like Thursday's donor awareness ceremony to make the public aware of what the gift of donation can mean to those who receive the transplants, she said.

"Your whole body is a special gift," Gary Lossing said. "And now we have the power and technology to pass that gift along after we are gone."

Those who decide they will pass along that gift once they die, need to make their wishes known to their loved ones, Patrick said.

"If you choose to be an organ donor, it's not enough to sign the back of your driver's license. You need to share your decision with family members because they must give the final consent," Patrick said. "That's why we say Share your life, share your decision.'"

Donor awareness

There are 60,000 people awaiting a vital organ transplant currently and countless others who could benefit from a tissue transplant.

If you have decided to be an organ and/or tissue donor when you die, it is important to share your decision with your next of kin since that person must give final consent for the donation after your death.

Here are some ideas from Mid-American Transplant Services on helping explain your decision to your loved ones.

* Tell them that organ and tissue donation is consistent with your life values and feels like the right thing for you to do.

* Tell them how one person can potentially help more than 50 other people. Donation can dramatically improve, even save, the lives of those suffering from organ failure, bone defects, burns or blindness.

* Tell them that they will be asked for consent at the time of your death.

* Have your family witness your decision. If you have already signed a donor card or indicated your decision on your driver's license, show it to them. If not, have them sign your donor card as your witness.