Digitized life stories offer dimension to funerals

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- Most people visiting cemeteries this weekend might have paid their respects with a visit to a grave, conjuring up memories of a person from a headstone.

An increasing number, however, might have stopped at a computer screen in a funeral home, pushed a button and watched as the faces and voices of the departed came alive.

It is called a funeral tribute or life story, and it is a trend that is helping to reshape the funeral industry -- not always known for being trendy.

In recent years, however, online guest books have become the norm, and now an increasing number of funerals are being broadcast on the Internet.

The digital life stories can be created by people before they pass away. They record stories from their lives, and final messages and thoughts, for their loved ones to see after they are gone. They add photographs, family trees, favorite songs and clips from old home movies.

Or sometimes, loved ones put together the life stories as tributes to the deceased. The results are stored on a DVD, on a computer, or on the Internet -- a sort of digital time capsule for future generations.

'Personal remembrances'

"These are very personal remembrances," said Randy Murray of Forever Funeral Homes and Cemeteries, owner of Mount Washington Forever Cemetery in Independence. "Anybody can sell grass and granite. Were taking on the responsibility of being the caretaker of someone's memories."

The tributes have long been the privilege of the rich and famous. But now technology has made that available to anyone with a video camera.

Many funeral homes and cemeteries in the Kansas City area now offer tributes as a service. At Mount Washington Forever, a professionally created, 10-minute tribute costs about $500.

Ilene and Kent Hall are in the process of completing their life stories at Mount Washington. They were immediately taken with the idea that they could record their voices and appearances, along with interviews of family members, for future generations. They have five children and nine grandchildren.

The Halls, of Kansas City, are 66 now and perfectly healthy. That is why they wanted to start the process now.

"Its sort of like a gift to our family and the future great-grandchildren," Kent Hall said. Recording the life stories was not a morbid affair, Ilene Hall said. An interviewer came to their home. The couple wore casual clothes, and talked about their lives and their families. She made a point of talking about how her grandparents lived in a sod house, and traveled in a covered wagon, and how her parents drove a horse and buggy during the Depression.

"Its a living picture album of who you are and who your loved ones are," she said. "This way, it passes down to those who wouldn't have a clue about those things. Its a connection for future generations to our past."

The Halls plan to add chapters to their life story as they age and their grandchildren grow.

Mount Washington was one of the first cemeteries in the area to go digital, and others soon followed. Visitors to the funeral home or cemetery can go to touch-screen kiosks and pull up one of thousands of tributes and life stories. Included in the cemetery's Library of Lives are thousands of tributes and life stories. They are also available on Forevers Web site.

"Instead of embalming bodies, they're going into the business of embalming memories," said Michael Kearl, a sociology professor at Trinity University in San Antonio, who studies the funeral industry and American funeral traditions.

Funeral parlors started offering tributes or videotape recordings of funerals during the video craze of the 1980s. Since then, advances in digital technology have made it more accepted.

"Were living in a wonderful age," said John Hogan, president-elect of the National Funeral Directors Association. "Its all about what people want. Some people don't want the video tributes, and that's fine. But I think its going to become much more widespread."

Just like the people they represent, the tributes vary widely in their sophistication and topics. Some are long, well-lighted productions with family members adding their thoughts about a dearly departed. Others are simply photos, with occasional musical accompaniment.

Some of the stories are filled with details about personal habits, likes and dislikes, and touching anecdotes. Most focus on family, laying audio interviews or songs over photos of babies, proms, weddings and get-togethers. One woman spends her entire tribute talking about her dog. Another man focuses on his love of race cars.

Sometimes the life stories are shown at the wake; other times they are kept for posterity, to show to future grandchildren.

Sharon Bahl and her husband, who live in Independence, recorded their "life stories" after buying their funeral plots. Bahl said the idea of leaving behind a recording of her voice -- along with photos and video clips of her and her husband -- was intriguing.

"It would be nice for the grandkids or the kids to be able to hear us and see us," she said. "That became an appealing idea."

Jeanette Beshears of Kansas City created a tribute for her husband after he died in 1995. She has since made one for herself. She has watched her husbands life story only once or twice.

"Its not really for me," she said. "But its nice, thinking I can get on the computer and pull it up any time I want."

The tributes are an example of new services and products offered by an industry wrestling with a changing and fragmenting marketplace, Kearl said.

Once, funerals required a casket, flowers, and a hole in the ground. That was back when the local funeral parlor did not have much competition. Things have changed.

Cremation rates are up, and traditional burials are down. Baby boomers are planning funerals tailored to suit their personalities. You can opt for a NASCAR-themed casket or a low-frills "green" funeral (body, meet dirt). You can have your ashes blasted into outer space, or sunk in an ocean reef.

"The so-called traditional American funeral is an artifact created by the funeral industry, and its all built around the embalmed body," Kearl said. "Without that, you don't have the casket, the slumber room ... they have to dream up something to make their money."

Funeral home executives acknowledge the marketplace is changing, but they see it as their responsibility to adapt to technology and the desires of their customers.

"Were in the remembrance business," said Brent Cassity, who started Forever cemeteries with his brother Tyler, and now owns and operates cemeteries across the country. "For a long time all you could offer somebody was a stone with a date of birth and a date of death. Now we can offer a lot more."

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Information from: The Kansas City Star, http://www.kcstar.com