NewsSeptember 9, 2002

NEW YORK -- Undeterred by the qualms of many experts, a New York psychoanalyst is trying to create a dating service in which men and women would be matched up by people who know them intimately -- their therapists. The service, which is signing up clients but not yet pairing them, is open only to people undergoing psychotherapy. ...

By David Crary, The Associated Press

NEW YORK -- Undeterred by the qualms of many experts, a New York psychoanalyst is trying to create a dating service in which men and women would be matched up by people who know them intimately -- their therapists.

The service, which is signing up clients but not yet pairing them, is open only to people undergoing psychotherapy. In contrast to standard, self-composed dating pitches -- "great sense of humor, loves the outdoors" -- clients of TheraDate will be assessed on such factors as obsessiveness, defense mechanisms and nervous tics.

TheraDate's creator, Frederick Levenson, is convinced such data, obtained from confidential questionnaires completed by a client's therapist, can be the building blocks for compatible long-term relationships. He also believes that people in therapy are attracted to others with similar experiences.

"The smartest people are the ones in therapy," he said. "They're wonderful people, very bright, very funny."

TheraDate would operate initially in New York City and Los Angeles, and possibly expand later -- assuming enough clients enroll.

More than 200 people in each city have applied since March, but Levenson says matchmaking won't begin until the two pools of singles reach 750. Charter members are paying $800 each, to be refunded if too few clients join, and the annual fee would be $2,000 for those signing up after operations start.

TheraDate, which plans to offer up to eight dates annually, is restricted to people who have undergone therapy within the past two years. They must gain the cooperation of their therapist, who fills out the questionnaire and submits it to TheraDate therapists who will do the matchmaking.

Some mental health experts suggest that assisting in matchmaking for a client, even indirectly, is an improper role for a therapist.

"It's supposed to be a solitary, straightforward relationship," said Stanford University psychologist Thomas Nagy. "The moment a therapist moves into some secondary role -- like acting as a facilitator for a dating service -- it can play havoc with the relationship."

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Nagy, who chaired an ethics task force for the American Psychological Association, said TheraDate might produce some happily-ever-after marriages -- but also some damaging encounters.

"We're always looking at worst-case scenarios," he said. "That's where ethics violations come, where lawsuits come."

Levenson rejects any suggestion that TheraDate would be unethical, saying its questionnaires are comparable to forms that therapists routinely submit to clients' health insurance companies.

He attributes his peers' skepticism to excessive caution, and contends that therapists should be more engaged in efforts to curb divorce and promote happier marriages.

"We have developed something that can be so helpful to this country -- not to do it would be unethical," Levenson said. "All we need now is for the mental health profession to recognize that we can provide a service and stop scoffing at new ideas."

A basic premise of TheraDate is that similarities attract, even if that means having similar problems.

"Statistically, 'opposites attract' is a myth," Levenson said. "Similarity of psychodynamics is what makes for good chemistry, and other dating services have no way of getting at it."

TheraDate's questionnaires seek information about sexual attitudes and relations with parents. They also ask therapists if a client's sense of humor is sarcastic, if an interest in sports is obsessive. Other questions seek to eliminate applicants with violent tendencies or serious emotional disturbances.

Levenson says he can't guarantee that all "bad apples" will be uncovered in advance, but he believes TheraDate will screen more effectively than traditional dating services.

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