Dating Advice From Luke by Luke Monahan

It is the question all single men (even some single women) fear.

You are romantically involved with someone (but not really). You're having a casual conversation (but not completely). And then the query is posed: "Are we dating, or are we just hooking up?" Ouch.

This is perhaps the core issue of every ambiguous relationship. And it's a question that has no correct answer. If you say you're "dating," pressure is placed upon both parties, and a degree of exclusivity is implied. If you claim you're "just hooking up," you are a terrible person by default and probably labeled as a player. The inclusion of the word "just" will shatter someone's heart-not yours. Next, someone who is not you will soon be crying. So how does one answer this question? Is there any response that works?

I believe there is.

"Well," you say, "I think we're having a long, intimate party."

This response is perfect. I mean perfect. Just hear me out.

The use of the word "long" indicates the potential for growth. The word "intimate" simultaneously suggests privacy and sensuality. And the word "party" makes everything seem playful, creative, and, most important, vague. Moreover, this sounds like the kind of thing Mick Jagger would have said to Twiggy in 1978 had they collided in the coke room at Studio 54. In a sense, we're all just having a "long, intimate party," are we not? Everybody wins.