Clinton book says he had to sleep on the couch

NEW YORK -- Bill Clinton says in his new book that his affair with intern Monica Lewinsky revealed "the darkest part of my inner life" and led to his temporary banishment from the White House bedroom to a nearby couch.

In "My Life," a copy of which was obtained by The Associated Press, the former president wrote that when he finally confessed to Hillary Rodham Clinton after months of public denials, she looked as if she had been punched in the gut. The couple started going to counseling one day a week for about a year, he said.

The book, published by Alfred A. Knopf, comes out Tuesday with a first printing of 1.5 million and should be one of the biggest publishing sensations in years. It is almost certain to outsell a previous sensation, his wife's memoirs, published last year.

Mrs. Clinton has offered her own memories of the affair. In "Living History," she wrote that she "wanted to wring Bill's neck" upon learning the truth and that at one point, Buddy the dog was the only member of the family willing to keep the president company.

Also in "My Life," Clinton recalled meeting with President-elect George W. Bush and telling him that the biggest threat to the nation's security was Osama bin Laden and al-Qaida. According to Clinton, Bush said little in response, and then switched subjects.

Clinton, 57, received a reported $10 million advance for "My Life," a 957-page book edited by Robert Gottlieb, who has worked with such authors as Nobel laureate Toni Morrison and Pulitzer Prize-winning historian Robert Caro.

Unlike other recent presidential memoirists, Clinton is believed to have written his own book, in longhand.

Self-destructive behaviorAdvance orders of "My Life" exceed 2 million, making it highly likely that "My Life" will sell more copies than "Living History." Mrs. Clinton's book has about 2.3 million copies in print, including both hardcover and paperback editions, according to publisher Simon & Schuster.

The former president's autobiography has been at or near the top of Amazon.com's best-seller list for the past month, holding on despite a wave of Ronald Reagan books that sold strongly after the former president's death. Bids for a signed first edition of "My Life" already have topped $450 on eBay.

In "My Life," Clinton wrote that he came to learn that his upbringing had made certain things difficult for him, and that he was particularly prone to self-destructive behavior when he was tired, angry or feeling lonely.

Clinton's father was killed in a car accident shortly before he was born, and the man his mother remarried was an alcoholic who frequently abused her and Clinton's half brother, Roger.

Clinton wrote that the violence and alcoholism of his home left him with persistent feelings of shame and fear and a lifelong struggle with secrecy, not sure of what to reveal and what to hide.

Clinton said his biggest presidential mistake was a 1994 decision that would ultimately lead to his impeachment -- asking then-Attorney General Janet Reno to name a prosecutor to look into his Whitewater land dealings.

He said he was not worried about the prosecutor, because he had nothing to hide. But Clinton observed that he may have been so worn out and upset by the death of his mother that he failed to make what now seems the wiser choice -- release the necessary papers, give Democrats a thorough briefing and seek their support.

The original prosecutor, Robert Fiske, was succeeded by Kenneth Starr, and the investigation was eventually expanded to include Clinton's affair with Lewinsky.

Writing about his 1998 impeachment, Clinton said Republican leaders were not punishing him for dishonesty or immoral conduct in having an affair with Lewinsky and lying about it under oath. He said he believed the reason was power, and because his political goals were different from theirs.

He survived the ordeal and remained focused on his job because of the support of the White House staff and Cabinet -- even those who felt betrayed by his behavior -- numerous world leaders, and encouraging words from both friends and strangers.

Interview on '60 Minutes'

He even expressed gratitude to his political enemies for bringing him and his wife closer together. And once the impeachment process was over, his eviction -- of at least two months -- to the couch in a living room next to the bedroom ended, too, he said.

In an interview to be broadcast today on CBS' "60 Minutes," Clinton called the Lewinsky affair "a terrible moral error."

"I did something for the worst possible reason. Just because I could," he said in the interview. "I think that's just about the most morally indefensible reason anybody could have for doing anything."

Clinton also said of the impeachment process: "The whole battle was a badge of honor. I don't see it as a stain, because it was illegitimate."

Booksellers have been ecstatic about the publication of "My Life," especially after Clinton's well-received appearance in early June at BookExpo America, the publishing industry's annual convention. Barnes & Noble announced Friday that one store each in New York and in Washington will stay open late Monday night and begin selling the book at midnight. Next week, Clinton begins a one-month, cross-country promotional tour.

"This is the biggest author event I've ever seen," said Clara Villarosa, owner of the Hue-Man Bookstore, a Harlem-based store where Clinton will appear Tuesday night.

Clinton has said that writing a "great" book has been a longtime goal, although the history of presidential memoirs works against him.

The only highly regarded book in this genre is by Ulysses Grant, who devoted most of his memoirs to his triumphant Civil War military leadership and wrote virtually nothing about his often-disastrous presidency.