CHILDREN, ADOLESCENTS FOCUS OF KENNET FORUM FOR PARENTS, EDUCATORS

KENNETT -- Concerned parents, teachers and counselors attended a children's forum "The Child and Adolescent Focus: Interventions that Work" on Monday at the First Baptist Church.

Sponsored by the Family Counseling Center, Dunklin County Caring Council and the Missouri Department of Mental Health, the main objective of the forum was to help parents and educators learn how to work in positive ways with hard-to-reach children.

Dr. Becky Bailey of Florida was the keynote speaker. She travels around the United States presenting seminars on ways to help break the violence pattern in children and giving parents and educators ideas and skills necessary to raise mentally healthy children.

"One of the first things a parent, or for that matter even a teacher, does when a child is misbehaving is winding up doing the same thing the child is doing," said Bailey. That sends kids a mixed message, she said.

"When your children are yelling at each other. What is the first thing you do? Step in and begin yelling `how many times have I told you not to yell?' At that moment you are doing exactly what you are trying to stop them from doing," Bailey said.

She described the stages of development for the human brain and how they affects children's behavior.

"When the brain stem (which controls physical reaction, rather than verbal or mental) overdevelops there is an extreme potential for violent behavior," said Bailey. "Such as we saw in the Columbine shootings."

To combat this, Baily said parents and teachers need to "help the child learn how to control their own life by giving them the skills necessary to be productive in society and to be able to handle stress without violence."

She described a simple relaxation technique which has been successful with both teachers and students: Smile, Take a deep breath and Relax, or STAR.

"By giving attention, working with them on problem solving skills, and just by helping them to learn to be a STAR before they react to a situation," Bailey said.

"I have taught this relaxation technique to many teachers, parents and school staff. It really works when every one pulls together doing this on a continuing basis.

Another tip: Adults should be factual when dealing with children when they are told that something will happen for misbehaving or not adhering to the rules.

Then make sure that the punishment is actually carried out: Take away television, telephones, or special toys. Just make sure to actually do it when they don't conform to the rules.

"Children need predictability," Bailey said. "When dealing with problems such as under development of portions of the brain, predictability helps them cope with the situation."