Cape man's legacy: rules to live and work by

"You, who are on the road, must have a code that you can live by."

--Crosby, Stills, Nash (CSN), 1970.

The late Robert W. "Bob" Stephens of Cape Girardeau, a fan of the folk-rock musical group CSN, left behind his own code of conduct when he died Sept. 11 at age 78.

The code was listed on a single sheet of paper entitled "Rules to Live and Work By."

Stephens' son, Rob, owner of Heartland Custom Flooring in Cape, said he has no idea where his dad, a 20-year Air Force veteran, got the idea for his list but knows his father started assembling his rules approximately 20 years ago.

"When [Dad] ran into people, he was ready to hand them his rules and would watch as they read them," said the younger Stephens. "He had a copy of the rules in each of his vehicles, in his recliner, in a camera case and in whatever book he happened to be reading at the time."

The elder Stephens had a faithful routine every Saturday: attend 4:30 p.m. Mass at St. Mary's Cathedral, then go off to Cracker Barrel, book in hand, with a copy of "Rules to Live and Work By" inserted in the pages.

"I told a server at the restaurant recently that Dad was ill and wouldn't be back -- and wouldn't you know it, she had a copy of the list, too," Rob said.

Stephens' list of 10 rules would be updated occasionally with the most recent iteration dated Dec. 16, 2020.

• You can only function to the level to which you have been trained.
• We can only do so much.
• I will only do so much.
• Someone else's failure to plan is not a reason to panic.
• There are some things over which we have no control.
• You have three choices: good, fast or cheap. Pick one.
• We have been doing so much with so much for so long, now we are expected to do everything with nothing forever.
• We will leave at the end of the shift.
• I will be paid for all hours worked.
• If you're not going to like the answer, don't ask the question.

Rob, 53, said he likes Dad's last rule a lot and uses it frequently with his own family.

Asked if he would continue his father's tradition and hand out the list to others, Stephens said he is considering it.

"We put a copy of Dad's rules in his casket," said Rob. "We think he probably has given a copy to God by now."