Being part of others' lives is a gift

Have you ever craved more time to be left alone to do whatever you chose? Believed people sometimes interfered with attaining goals you would like to accomplish? Felt victimized by excessive demands from others? Although I always felt privileged to be included in people's experiences, I yearned for respite from constant intrusions on my time. However, I recently heard a comment in a television movie that changed my perspective on giving and sharing time with others.

As my children were being reared, I often contemplated the luxury of experiencing peace and rest that would, hopefully, occur after they left the nest. I pondered I could attend college, write, work out or just daydream. I could start a career and accomplish something "genuinely important." Even though family ranked second on my list of priorities, behind God, listening to others caused dissatisfaction with my roles as wife and mother. Many considered the vocation of homemaker and mother to be unfulfilling and mundane. So I scrutinized magazine articles and Scripture to find value in my vocation as homemaker.

Since I was unqualified to bear such titles as teacher, lawyer or nurse, I often invented names such as "domestic engineer" to justify and add clout to my position. I often felt inadequate while interacting with my friends who maintained professional occupations.

As my children neared junior high school, I re-entered college and completed degrees I had begun after graduating from high school. Although I desired to perform jobs/vocations requiring appropriate education, I also needed the accreditation to elevate my self-esteem. At that time, I had failed to remember and absorb the meaning of the Scripture passage "An argument arose among the disciples about which of them was the greatest and Jesus said, 'Whoever receives this child in my name receives me and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me. For the one who is least among you is the one who is the greatest.'" I realized love of God was the most valuable accomplishment of all.

Although I had long changed my attitude on what makes one important, the television show, remarkably, reaffirmed my concept of life's values. A young aspiring writer, John, and his wife, Ruth, adopted five orphaned children. The father knew little concerning the responsibilities, time expenditure and imperfection involved in raising children. He was unable to derive necessary time for his writing, and consequently, grew discontented with the whole situation. As a result, he left the family numerous times. Ruth gave the youngest child to another couple due to her inability to raise all five children alone.

After leaving and searching for life's meaning through his writing, John finally realized what he had lost. He secretly retrieved the baby and came back to his family begging forgiveness. When Ruth asked why he came back to them, he humbly answered. "I came back because I pondered all the lives that were involved in this family. And I marveled at the importance of being a part of all those lives. And although I may never receive acclaim as a writer, what could be more important? We have children with whom to share joys, sorrows and activities. They will marry and bring in-laws whose lives we can share. But it doesn't end there, we will then inherit grandchildren, and the process continues to intertwine."

As I listened, I meditated on his revelations and realized the awesomeness of simply being a part of other people's lives. I marveled at the ramifications of the chain of people who come into one's life, both family and friends. Wow! What could be more exciting, fulfilling and valuable than being a part of their lives?

As I contemplated the significance of interacting with others, prestigious careers, honors and titles seemed insignificant in comparison to love shared between people. I recognized they were fleeting, would deteriorate and were void of life. Jesus presented his opinion on the importance of greetings, honors and titles when he said, "Woe to you Pharisees! You love the place of honor in synagogues and greetings in marketplaces." (Luke 11:43.) After recalling Jesus' view, I felt I should never again perceive I needed titles, degrees or positions to be valuable or feel important. For I could attain no greater success than being a part of other people's lives. Do you appreciate the importance of being a part of others' lives?

Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary's Cathedral Parish.